It is better for young to get advice from older people than young people. Do you agree or disagree?
It is true that there are many workers who are
practicing
any kind of Change the spelling
practising
sports
even in their leisure time
so they will have more chances to get
some illnesses problems . In my opinion , there are several reasons Change preposition
of getting
that
why Correct word choice
apply
people
are not excersing
but I believe that there are multiple effective approaches that can be useful to combat Correct your spelling
exercising
this
issue.
On the one hand , it is often considered that the busy schedule work and the lack of awareness about the advantages of doing sports
remain be
the main reasons Unnecessary verb
apply
of
Change preposition
for
this
issue . Firstly
, the majority of employees spend an enormous time
in
working , Change preposition
apply
hence
, when they have some free time
, they prefer to spend it in
relaxing and having some fun with their loved persons . Change preposition
apply
For example
, the majority of mother and father workers choose to take care of their children and be with them instead
of doing physical activities . Secondly
, some individuals do not exercise because they ignore the usefulnesses
of doing Correct your spelling
usefulness
sports
to their mental and physical health . Also
, they considere
it as a way of entertainment and can waste their Correct your spelling
consider
considered
time
not
Rephrase
apply
a
rather than considered as Correct article usage
apply
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
practice
which can help them to avoid many diseases .
On the other hand
, there are some special measures that should be taken in order to encourage individuals to perform some physical activities in their daily routine . First of all , the government should establish some compaigns
Correct your spelling
campaigns
in
TV or social media in order to aware and Change preposition
on
informe
Correct your spelling
inform
informed
people
that sport is not a luxury or life style
activity but it is an essential step for keeping them healthy and away from many Correct your spelling
lifestyle
mentals
and Correct your spelling
mental
physicial
issues . Correct your spelling
physical
In addition
, the authority
should make Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
sport
centers convenient for all Change the noun form
sports
people
by make
Change the verb form
making
it
cheaper and affordable for all categories of Correct pronoun usage
them
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
create
diverse choices for them , Wrong verb form
creating
such
as tenis
swimming because not all individuals like musculation and fitness . Correct your spelling
tennis
As a result
, employees will find less
difficulties to go gym and Change the quantifier
fewer
practice
the kind of sport that Wrong verb form
practising
inspire
and Change the verb form
inspires
passionate
Add a missing verb
is passionate
them
.
In conclusion , there are many workers who are not exercising because they are not Change preposition
about them
conscient
about their advantages and they have a complicated schedule which Correct word choice
conscious
do
not help them to Change the verb form
does
practice
some physical activities . However
, if the authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
informe
and aware their citizens about the multiple merits of Correct your spelling
inform
sports
and make sports
facilities convenient for all people
, they will undoubtedly become more encouraged to practice
sports
in their daily lives.Submitted by molfruit7 on
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task response
There is some attempt to address the task but the response is not fully developed. Some ideas are presented but they lack clarity and specificity.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat incoherent and lacks clear progression of ideas. There are issues with coherence between sentences and paragraphs, leading to confusion and difficulty in following the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack depth and relevance to the topic. The main points are weakly supported, and there is a need for more specific examples and details to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The response presents some clear ideas but lacks depth and specificity. More relevant and specific examples are needed to support the arguments and make the ideas comprehensive.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.