It is better for young to get advice from older people than young people. Do you agree or disagree?

#advice #people

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It is true that there are many workers who are

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

any kind of

sports

Use synonyms

even in their leisure

time

Use synonyms

so they will have more chances

to get

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

some illnesses problems . In my opinion , there are several reasons

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

why

people

Use synonyms

are not

excersing

Correct your spelling

exercising

but I believe that there are multiple effective approaches that can be useful to combat

this

Linking Words

issue. On the one hand , it is often considered that the busy schedule work and the lack of awareness about the advantages of doing

sports

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remain

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the main reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue .

Firstly

Linking Words

, the majority of employees spend an enormous

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working ,

hence

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, when they have some free

time

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, they prefer to spend it

Change preposition

apply

show examples

relaxing and having some fun with their loved persons .

For example

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, the majority of mother and father workers choose to take care of their children and be with them

instead

Linking Words

of doing physical activities .

Secondly

Linking Words

, some individuals do not exercise because they ignore the

usefulnesses

Correct your spelling

usefulness

show examples

of doing

sports

Use synonyms

to their mental and physical health .

Also

Linking Words

, they

considere

Correct your spelling

consider

considered

it as a way of entertainment and can waste their

time

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not

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rather than considered as

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

practice

Use synonyms

which can help them to avoid many diseases .

On the other hand

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, there are some special measures that should be taken in order to encourage individuals to perform some physical activities in their daily routine . First of all , the government should establish some

compaigns

Correct your spelling

campaigns

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show examples

TV or social media in order to aware and

informe

Correct your spelling

inform

informed

people

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that sport is not a luxury or

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

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activity but it is an essential step for keeping them healthy and away from many

mentals

Correct your spelling

mental

and

physicial

Correct your spelling

physical

issues .

In addition

Linking Words

, the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

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should make

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

centers convenient for all

people

Use synonyms

make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

cheaper and affordable for all categories of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society and

create

Wrong verb form

creating

show examples

diverse choices for them ,

such

Linking Words

tenis

Correct your spelling

tennis

swimming because not all individuals like musculation and fitness .

As a result

Linking Words

, employees will find

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

difficulties to go gym and

Use synonyms

practice

Wrong verb form

practising

show examples

the kind of sport that

inspire

Change the verb form

inspires

show examples

and

passionate

Add a missing verb

is passionate

show examples

them

Change preposition

about them

show examples

. In conclusion , there are many workers who are not exercising because they are not

conscient

Correct word choice

conscious

show examples

about their advantages and they have a complicated schedule which

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not help them to

practice

Use synonyms

some physical activities .

However

Linking Words

, if the

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

informe

Correct your spelling

inform

and aware their citizens about the multiple merits of

sports

Use synonyms

and make

sports

Use synonyms

facilities convenient for all

people

Use synonyms

, they will undoubtedly become more encouraged to

practice

Use synonyms

sports

Use synonyms

in their daily lives.

Submitted by molfruit7 on Sat Nov 13 2021

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task response

There is some attempt to address the task but the response is not fully developed. Some ideas are presented but they lack clarity and specificity.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is somewhat incoherent and lacks clear progression of ideas. There are issues with coherence between sentences and paragraphs, leading to confusion and difficulty in following the argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack depth and relevance to the topic. The main points are weakly supported, and there is a need for more specific examples and details to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

The response presents some clear ideas but lacks depth and specificity. More relevant and specific examples are needed to support the arguments and make the ideas comprehensive.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

437 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wisdom
experience
modern challenges
peer advice
long-term perspective
contextual relevance
diverse perspectives
generational gap
mentorship
cautionary tale
evolving societal norms

What to do next:

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It is better for young to get advice from older people than young people. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

It is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. Discuss both views

Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?