IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negative impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #show #films #impact #culture
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In the contemporary age, globalization has become a worldwide trend and many fields have benefited from
this
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, especially the
film
Use synonyms
 industry. It is hotly debated whether broadcasting foreign movies would bring about
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain advantages or it would lead to several unexpected events. I deem that both of these notions have their own points and will analyze all aspects in my essay and present my own perspectives.
To begin
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 with,
this
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 concept will let the citizens have deeper insights
about
Change preposition
into
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 the culture or society and all other aspects of those nations. In fact, the filmmakers will always integrate the features of their own countries and sometimes they expose the alarming issues from another angle as they are affected by many factors in their community.
Consequently
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, the audience could get to know many things from the other parts of the world while they are contemplating the films. Another striking point worth considering is that it would definitely help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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movie producers widen their horizons and learn new
film
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-making techniques so they can ameliorate the quality of the products.
As a result
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,
this
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 will help the
film
Use synonyms
 industry to flourish which may stimulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth
as well as more invaluable and meaningful stories
Add the comma(s)
, as well as more invaluable and meaningful stories,
show examples
 will be told in a profound way. On the flip side, there is little doubt that everything has pros and cons and the drawback here is that the concept of the local population could be negatively impacted. To explain, some can deliberately distort the history records or the mindset about a certain phenomenon since they want to make use of
film
Use synonyms
 influence to spread the wrong information in order to achieve their purposes. Lately, the news that a
new
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newly
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 released Chinese
film
Use synonyms
 has falsified the facts about the VietNam and China war has hit the headlines. The producers make the Chinese invaders become
the
Correct article usage
apply
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brave soldiers who sacrifice themselves to fight against the Vietnamese so as to protect their country and freedom.
However
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, in
fact
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,fact
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 VietNam was the victim of the greedy China government and those rule-makers were the real villains. To conclude, it is necessary to show overseas films owing to their obvious merits.
Otherwise
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, people who are in charge of censorship need to assess strictly so as to eradicate unsuitable content.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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