The media pays too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

#media #attention #lives #relationships #celebrities #actors #singers #footballers #time #people

Nowadays, people spend a lot of

time

watching

news

Correct article usage

the news

show examples

regarding stars

such

as actors, musicians or athletes.

However

, some think they should spend more

time

reporting the

life

of simple subjects. I totally agree with

this

, and in

this

essay, I am going to write why I think is more important to report normal people's

life

. Despite the fact of a celebrities

life

is more interesting, reporters should live more space for them to live their daily

life

This

is because many times paparazzi would invade their days asking them for

news

, so they can report them to the crowd. Famous rock bands ,

for instance

, are almost banned to live their

life

a normal human beings

Correct the article-noun agreement

normal human beings

a normal human being

show examples

, because of media interruptions.

Therefore

we should have more

news

about ordinary persons, that could even give us more informative

news

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

news

. If we they would show more information regarding daily subjects, a person would

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

have

Add the particle

tohave

show examples

get more knowledge. When we only rely on famous celebrities, we end up

Change preposition

apply

show examples

having fake

news

most of the

time

but

also

it doesn't give us any informative pieces of information.

Such

as how the citizens live, giving good reports and sometimes tips on how to have e better living or even know what is happening around the world, and learn from different cultures.

Altough

Correct your spelling

Although

this

can be boring for some it would be really informative for others. In conclusion, reporters pay too much attention to famous groups, without realising how important could be to report normal crowd information. In my opinion, I find it more interesting

known

Change the verb form

to know

show examples

what other

pepole

Correct your spelling

people

like me do

Change preposition

show examples

their free

time

or inform

myself

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

about others

culturs

Correct your spelling

cultures

culture

Submitted by Tizi999 on Sun Nov 14 2021

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The media pays too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

write a paragraph about the advantages and disadvantages of teamwork

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work it their free time.This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.