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Band 5.5

Q Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Nowadays,
parents
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 are very conscious about their
children
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's education because of high competition in the schools. Some people believe that it is better for
children
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 to do educational
activities
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 in their spare
time
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.
Education
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The education
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 system is now very advanced in today’s society
therefore
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, some
parents
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 think that their
children
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 are under
pressure
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 from those extra
activities
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.
However
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, doing
such
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activities
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 can be beneficial. Do you think that
children
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 will be under
pressure
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 because of those
activities
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? No, I don’t think that
children
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 would be
in
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under
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pressure
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 as these
activities
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 would help to relax the mind. There are several pros and cons of having additional
activities
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 in school to boost the morale of the
children
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. Let us examine those pro’s and con’s
further
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.
Firstly
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, there are many
parents
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 who believe that it is better for
children
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 to do educational
activities
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 because in
this
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 way
children
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 do really well in the finals.
For example
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, if
children
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 do daily revision in their free
time
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,
then
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 they do not face any problem in the finals
as a result
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, they perform better. If
children
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 do educational
activities
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 in their free
time
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then
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 they do not involve any other activity
such
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 as playing games, mobile phone and other bad habits. There are lots of
parents
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 who think that
this
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 way
children
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 are under
pressure
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 because
children
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 already spend 8 hours in school and after that, if they spend more
time
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 in educational
activities
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,
then
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 they are under
pressure
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.
On the other hand
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, there are lots of ways that
children
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 could spend their day.
For example
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, they should do physical
activities
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 in their free
time
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 because it helps them to stay fit and healthy not only physically but
also
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 mentally.
This
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 way, it wouldn’t be too strenuous for
children
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 to focus on preparing for their
exam
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exams
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. In conclusion, it is true that
parents
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 want their
children
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 to be successful in their
career
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careers
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, but it does not mean that they should spend their free
time
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 on educational
activities
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. In my view,
children
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 should spend their free
time
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 in other curriculum
activities
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 because it helps them to stay fit, healthy and relax their mind rather than putting more
pressure
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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