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Band 6

The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world citie can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this decline in quality of life in cities, attempts must be made to encourage people to use their cars less and public transport more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#levels #congestion #air #pollution #world #citie #cars #decline #quality #life #cities #attempts #people #transport
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Nowadays, in our society
children
Use synonyms
 have less connection with their
parents
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 due to both
parents
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 are working ,and it makes problems in their relationship. I want to render some reasons and suggest to my opinion about
this
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 decision. On the one hand, those who support
this
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 idea claim that both
parents
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Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 outside of
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
 can cause various problems.
Firstly
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, these days the living cost is increasing and
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 have to
work
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 to prepare a better life for their
children
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.
For instance
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, if
children
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 want to go
Privet
Change preposition
to Privet
show examples
 University ,or they want to have a better
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 their
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 need
paying
Change the verb form
to pay
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 good money for them.
Although
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 they are working together to earn extra money, they cannot
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
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 free time and
this
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 might have a negative impact on
children
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.
Secondly
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, while both
parents
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 are working,
children
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 may be lonely at home and if
parents
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 neglect to control their
children
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 in order to lack attention may direct
children
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 to criminal activities. For
this
Linking Words
 reason, at least one of two
parents
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 should be staying more time at home , and they are nurturing as well as they can.
On the other hand
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, when
parents
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 don’t spend enough time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
Use synonyms
‘s upbringing, especially mother.
Although
Linking Words
children
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 want
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high quality of life facility, they need more
parents
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 attention and support than anything else. For one
thing
Add a comma
,thing
show examples
children
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 need emotional
interact
Replace the word
interaction
show examples
 with their
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 and
parents
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 have significant impacts on the process of shaping the personalities of their
children
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. When
Children
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 are working with
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parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 they feel much more confident and independent and
this
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 is helpful to their future life.
In addition
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, sometimes
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 are like working and they want to be more socialized So they can help from babysitters, or with grandparents
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between
work
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 and family. I believe that while
Use synonyms
parent
Add an article
the parent
a parent
show examples
 is working as a professional
work
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 it brings more advantages to the
children
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 Financial situation of the whole family will be improved,
children
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 can learn hard
work
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 from their
parents
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 and
also
Linking Words
 it has many benefits for the
parents
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 themselves. In conclusion, if
parents
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 balance between
work
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 and family their
children
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’s development are certain to be guaranteed.
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