IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays people tend to change a few careers during their life. What are the reasons for this, in your opinion. Do you think it is good for the society as a whole?

#people #change #careers #life #society
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In recent times,many people, across the world,
change
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 their jobs a few times during their career journey.
This
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 tendency mainly arises for earning more
income
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 and, for better opportunities. I believe it is a positive sign for the
society
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due to
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 various reasons. Employees
change
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 their jobs
due to
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 two main reasons.
Firstly
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, workers can demand a high salary when they switch their work, and ,
this
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 trend has been seen more among the young generation.
For example
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, professionals get a maximum of 6% hike every year
while
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 working in multinational companies in India, which is
very
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much
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 less when compared with the increasing living expenses,
whereas
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, they can gain around 30-60% hike if they choose their new profession carefully.
Secondly
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, the majority population
change
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 their tasks for advanced opportunities. If the labourers find a lack of growth in their present careers, they will definitely look for a job
change
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 which has a high demand in
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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.
This
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 kind of job
change
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 is definitely a positive approach for
society
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. First and foremost, the government can gain more
tax
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 from the workers.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the latest
tax
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 slab in India, people have to pay 5% of their net salary as
tax
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 if their
income
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 lies between 2 lakhs and 3 lakhs.
Therefore
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, as the remuneration increases government can get more
income
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 in terms of
tax
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, which can be used for the prosperity of the
society
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.
In addition
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,highly waged folks can help the needy. It is evident from recent calamities in Kerala that people supported the poor by providing food, shelter and other necessities.
To conclude
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,today, youngsters
change
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 their working field as they want to save more money and for a better career choice.
This
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 will inevitably lead to a developed
society
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 as authorities get more
income
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 and more volunteers to support poor
society
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.
Submitted by susmivijayan51 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a generally coherent and cohesive response, but there are some areas that could benefit from improved logical structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task to a satisfactory extent, but some points are not fully developed and could be more comprehensive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career mobility
  • lifelong learning
  • job satisfaction
  • economic factors
  • market dynamics
  • redundancy
  • work-life balance
  • skill set
  • adaptation
  • innovation
  • personal growth
  • vocational evolution
  • technological advancements
  • workforce diversification
  • expertise development
  • professional transition
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