Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better educational system?

Currently, the educational curriculum has always been a topic of interest. While some claim that a few systems allow
students
to specialize in several
subjects
at 15 years old, others make a statement that
students
are required to absorb
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
show examples
of many
subjects
until they graduate. There are advantages in both systems,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
I believe that studying a certain subject is better for
students
. It is irrefutable to note that learning limited
subjects
has brought tremendous benefits for
students
. Having certain
subjects
to study, learners can have more time for different activities,
such
as doing sports or learning a new skill rather than those that study many.
Hence
they are less likely to suffer from stress and can learn more productively at school. Specifically, when
students
can choose to learn the
subjects
they yearn for, they will be dedicated to those aspects and willing to explore more about them.
Consequently
, learning specialized
subjects
has a more effective influence on
students
.
However
, studying a wide range of
subjects
also
plays a significant role in
students
’ life. As when they absorb diverse insightful knowledge, they can develop comprehensively in a wealth of areas,which will enable them to have a multi-dimensional viewpoint about life.
For instance
, with some
students
who learn various
subjects
ranging from Mathematics to Literature, their horizons will broaden substantially.
Therefore
, studying many
subjects
can provide
students
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
solid foundation before moving to university. In conclusion,
although
each educational
systems
Fix the agreement mistake
system
show examples
has its own advantages, learning particular
subjects
is argued to be a more decent curriculum for
students
Submitted by hoctotnha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: