IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the media is the reason why we are all obsessed with our physical appearance. how far do you agree with this statement`

#media #reason #appearance #statement`
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It is often said that the
media
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 is one of the most important
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part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of human
life
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 and it can
affects
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affect
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on
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apply
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relationships, feelings and
behaviors
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behaviours
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. The
media
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 is the reason why we are all obsessed with our physical appearance.
This
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 essay will discuss the debate
,
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apply
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 and
gives
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give
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 a concluding idea. In recent years, The
media
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 has affected a large
part
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 of
people
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’s lives, many
person
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people
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have
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has
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 their income and work from The
media
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.
Spend
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Spending
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 too much time in the virtual world causes us to follow and watch alien persons
life
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 but, there is a few
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part
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parts
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 of their
life
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. Most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
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 are impressed by the perfection of the lives of the
people
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 they see in The
media
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, it can even start with the appearance so,
the
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apply
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plastic surgery will begin. Plastic surgeries are not bad if they are not extreme. Anything that makes a person feel good about her body and love herself more,
it
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apply
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is good but sometimes some
people
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 can not control themselves and They become addicted to beauty surgeries and make their appearance artificial.
Also
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,
with
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apply
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Thoughtless decisions lead to events that are difficult or impossible to compensate for. These outcomes are from decisions without search and without thought.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some
people
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 that they have enough control
on
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over
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 their
behavior
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behaviour
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 and their decision and they get not involved with The
media
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 but most of the
people
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 are
interest
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interested
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 to found new things. To conclude, we should know that everything that we see
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is not real and it is just a few
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part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of
people
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’s
life
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. So, we should love
ourself
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
show examples
 with all the bad and good things.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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