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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#childhood #obesity #world #people #adverts #food #sweets #snacks #schools #colleges
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In modern ,ear health problems become issue number one on the planet ,especially with the right diet. The young generation has access to numerous different information on the Internet and other mass media resources, but use it in a not appropriate way and the influence of all of that sources are magnificent for child physical health. I agree with the statement by the following:
First
 of all,
such
 advertisements influence students like magnets because colourful, nice and usually have strong slogans all of that force them not to go to cafes and eat normal healthy
food
, but use the vending machines and buy some junk
food
 which contains only fast carbonates and nothing else. As we already know the body which is growing need different vitamins, organic tissue and so on, in other word snacks do not fit for the young by
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 containment.
Second
, sweets have not been allowed because of
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 very fast recycling by the body.
For example
, if some student eats meat and vegetables it usually recycled by the body in
two
Add a hyphen
two-three
show examples
three
Change preposition
to three
show examples
 hours, but junk
food
 recycling by half an hour or faster and it makes students eat more and spend more money. To sum up, decades of scientific research say us that we must carry about our health and it starts with the right diet. We need to look up what our children eat outside of our home and control that no one forces them to eat unhealthy
food
,
such
 adverts should be prohibited in places where we teach our kids.
Submitted by m.orlov.1st on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • vulnerability
  • unethical
  • well-being
  • commercial gain
  • cafeteria options
  • nutritional programs
  • fast food advertisements
  • health impacts
  • influence
  • educational environment
  • promote healthier eating habits
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