IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #advances #technology
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Every country
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 facing
crime
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 and they are
also
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 finding different ways to decrease
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
. Enhancement in
technology
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 has made it possible.
Although
Linking Words
, it is sometimes thought advances in
technology
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 made
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crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate
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 less in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to the past. In my opinion, I considered that
technology
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 has become an
indispansiable
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indispensable
 part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our life and it is
a
Change the article
apply
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very useful to decline
crime
Use synonyms
rate
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. There are several reasons why
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 is declining by using
technology
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. The
first
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 and foremost important thing is that
technology
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 has given a lot of
facility
Change to a plural noun
facilities
show examples
 to catch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal.
For example
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, security cameras are available everywhere so
Add an article
the thief
a thief
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thief
Fix the agreement mistake
thieves
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 can not think about
steal
Wrong verb form
stealing
show examples
 anything, and
people
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 feel safe and secure.
Moreover
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, every
people
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 prefer to install
security
Correct article usage
a security
show examples
 alarm in their house, so if anyone can try to enter into the house alarm will ring.
Therefore
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, there are many helpful elements that are provided by
technology
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 to reduce
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
. Another point to
considere
Correct your spelling
consider
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 more crimes happen getting
money
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 from someone else as they have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
income
Add an article
an income
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 source.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a survey has conducted in the UK, If
people
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earns
Change the verb form
earn
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 good
money
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 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their dreams, they never will think about theft.
In addition
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,
technology
Use synonyms
 gives more employment opportunities to humans.
Hence
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, more jobs are
also
Linking Words
 reasons to remove
crime
Use synonyms
 rates.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some
negatives
Replace the word
negative
show examples
effcets
Correct your spelling
effects
 of
technology
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 use plastic
money
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 when they have online
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 that time some hackers hack their card
detalis
Correct your spelling
details
, and
people
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 lost their
money
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 from the online account.
Secondly
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, sometimes social
acounts
Correct your spelling
accounts
 are
also
Linking Words
 hacked and
people
Use synonyms
 lost their privacy. In conclusion,
crime
Use synonyms
 rates have lessened as more
people
Use synonyms
 have employment and some
people
Use synonyms
 have fear to catch by police as tighten security around them, but some drawbacks should not
neglact
Correct your spelling
neglect
.
Submitted by patelpayal8296 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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