IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Atomic energy ( Nuclear power )is becoming more and more popular energy source. However, some people argue that nuclear power puts life on the Earth to danger Discuss both view and give your opinion?

Issues related to nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 are frequently discussed these days. Some people believe that nowadays, atomic
energy
Use synonyms
 plays an essential role in terms of
energy
Use synonyms
 source,
others
Correct word choice
while others
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criticize
Change the spelling
criticise
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 and argue that nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 has a severe impact on the planet. Both sides of
view
Correct article usage
the view
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 and the explanation will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are several reasons why atomic
energy
Use synonyms
 is more popular than before. The principal reason is that atomic
energy
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 is
reliable
Correct article usage
a reliable
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energy
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
source.
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 To explain, the
energy
Use synonyms
 has been produced by the
power
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 plants which can create the
energy
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 all day,
whereas
Linking Words
 other sources,
such
Linking Words
 as wind and solar
Use synonyms
power
Punctuation problem
power,
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 have
necessary
Correct word choice
apply
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depended on the weather conditions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a huge amount of
power
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 can be released by a
power
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 plant that can support the usage of
energy
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 in a city. To exemplify,
due to
Linking Words
 excessive usage of electrical tools and overpopulation problems, China has rapidly produced
power
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 plants in order to provide an alternative
energy
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 source for citizens in the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a variety of negative effects associated with nuclear
power
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. The main reason is that the
processing
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production
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 of
producing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 has a negative
result
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impact
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 on the environment, including air and water pollution.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 nuclear
power
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 has increasingly developed in terms of the security of the plants over recent years, one accident can lead the surroundings to become an unforeseen disaster.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Chernobyl explosion, the worst accident of nuclear
power
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, had horribly affected both creatures and the atmosphere in terms of death, health problems and toxic air. All things considered
;
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,
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 I am of the opinion that even though
,
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apply
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 atomic
energy
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 has various benefits for industrial sectors, the risks of its
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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as well as
Linking Words
 toxic gases are too dangerous for the planet.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments and correspondents should educate more deeply
information
Change preposition
about information
show examples
 and carefully
realize balancing
Wrong verb form
balance
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 between its
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 and
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 generation.

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Task Response
Task response: The essay shows both sides and gives a view, but add more details and examples for each point, and make a clear final view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The flow is basic. Use clear topic sentence in each paragraph and simple linking words to connect ideas more smoothly; keep sentences short where possible.
Structure
The essay has a clear plan with intro, body and conclusion.
Examples
Examples are given to support points (China and Chernobyl).
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nuclear power
  • energy
  • power
  • source
  • safe
  • danger
  • risk
  • accident
  • waste
  • plant
  • reactor
  • fuel
  • emissions
  • clean
  • climate
  • electricity
  • grid
  • policy
  • safety
  • regulation
  • government
  • experts
  • science
  • cost
  • price
  • job
  • plan
  • future
  • trust
  • control
  • technology
  • safety rules
  • backup
  • renewables
  • solar
  • wind
  • water
  • storage
  • safety culture
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