In developing countries, some people think the government should introduce new technology to people in order to improve quality of life, while others believe governments should offer free education. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In developing nations, a segment of society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that there should be the introduction of the latest
sophiscated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
technological gadgets to raise the standard of living.
However
, others
reck on
Correct your spelling
reckon
show examples
that the authorities should offer
education
at no cost and
this
would be fruitful in the future. My view is that free
education
should be provided to
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
groups, despite the importance of introducing the new technology. Some
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that advanced technologies will bring considerable changes to poor countries immediately
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since high-tech products can bring great convenience to
people
's lives.
Firstly
, prospering aviation can promote the development of international trading and
traveling
Change the verb form
travel
show examples
, which can provide
accesses
Fix the agreement mistake
access
show examples
to various products and options of leisure activities.
Also
, the availability of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
and mobile phones can bring
people
closer and provide relaxed ways of entertaining. Specifically, cellphones can greatly strengthen the ties between
familes
Correct your spelling
families
, while online games can help
people
kill the boredom and fatigue from their hectic lives.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the advantages of modern innovations are treasured, some still hold the view that free
education
outweighs technology because it can not only bridge the disparity between rich and poor
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
narrow the gap between developing countries and developed areas.
First
of all, subsidizing less well-off families for tertiary
education
can provide them opportunities to compete with their counterparts and prove their abilities, which can help shake off the poverty and
stablize
Correct your spelling
stabilize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Further
, a
nation
could benefit from the promotion of the policy in the long run as there will be more talents with high literacy
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
available, which is the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
core element to change and develop the whole
nation
. The citizens' happiness index and quality of life will increase eventually when a
nation
become stronger and richer. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology can enrich
people
's way of life in the short run. Exempting school expenses for the
poors
Correct your spelling
poor
is more essential to the
nation
because it is more beneficial in the long term.
Submitted by lslethan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: