Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

It is true that celebrities

such

as actors, musicians and sports

palyers

Correct your spelling

players

, are being paid an astronomical amount of money compared to other professions , which I consider among the top carriers,

such

as teaching , academic research, and medicine.

Change preposition

show examples

the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

let me start with the unfrustration that I feel when most governments take a large amount of time to

designe

Correct your spelling

design

a budget for scientific researches or to financially support teachers or nurses, as opposed to just

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

weeks to deduct millions of dollars to host a rock festival for a renowned singer. I believe that the reason for

this

is the new criteria followed recently in many countries while deciding the payment scale, where the highest wages are for

whome

Correct your spelling

women

home

who can give back more money, rather than to what is the value of the job and what kind of contribution to the humanity

this

employee or professional is offering .

Thus

, a football

Change the word

more paly

show examples

palyer

Correct your spelling

player

for example

, who scores more goals might be receiving

hunderds

Correct your spelling

hundreds

thousounds

Correct your spelling

thousands

of dollars weekly, because his or her

reveneu

Correct your spelling

revenue

to the

sport

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sports

show examples

club that they belong to exceeds these numbers by

milions

Correct your spelling

millions

On the other hand

, physicians , teachers, and judges

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

are doing an extremely crucial favour to their

societis

Correct your spelling

societies

society

and they deserve to be highly appreciated by paying paid the highest wages .

This

does not mean that we had to underestimate

othe

Correct your spelling

other

professions , but I believe that payments should be proportional to the

moural

Correct your spelling

moral

values and to the services that

Add a missing verb

are being

show examples

being

Change the form of the verb

show examples

offered to societies in terms of saving lives or improving life quality, and what might more than being a

taecher

Correct your spelling

teacher

, a physician, or a judge to be able to do so. In conclusion, I agree that payment for

celibrities

Correct your spelling

celebrities

and entertainers

such

as singers, sports

palyers

Correct your spelling

players

are getting extremely high while there are many great professions

such

as teaching , medical jobs that deserve,in my opinion, to be paid more , and I hope

this

trend is going to be changed in the near future.

Submitted by mkhmd68 on Mon Nov 15 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

340 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay it. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give you own opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that free housing should be provided by the government for under-privileged and people who can’t afford to buy a house. To what extent do you agree and disagree with the statement? Give examples based on your own experience.

some people like to spend their liesure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.