Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

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It is true that celebrities

such

Linking Words

as actors, musicians and sports

palyers

Correct your spelling

players

, are being paid an astronomical amount of money compared to other professions , which I consider among the top carriers,

such

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as teaching , academic research, and medicine.

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show examples

the

begining

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beginning

let me start with the unfrustration that I feel when most governments take a large amount of time to

designe

Correct your spelling

design

a budget for scientific researches or to financially support teachers or nurses, as opposed to just

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

weeks to deduct millions of dollars to host a rock festival for a renowned singer. I believe that the reason for

this

Linking Words

is the new criteria followed recently in many countries while deciding the payment scale, where the highest wages are for

whome

Correct your spelling

women

home

who can give back more money, rather than to what is the value of the job and what kind of contribution to the humanity

this

Linking Words

employee or professional is offering .

Thus

Linking Words

, a football

Change the word

more paly

show examples

palyer

Correct your spelling

player

for example

Linking Words

, who scores more goals might be receiving

hunderds

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hundreds

thousounds

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thousands

of dollars weekly, because his or her

reveneu

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revenue

to the

sport

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sports

show examples

club that they belong to exceeds these numbers by

milions

Correct your spelling

millions

On the other hand

Linking Words

, physicians , teachers, and judges

Remove the comma

apply

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are doing an extremely crucial favour to their

societis

Correct your spelling

societies

society

and they deserve to be highly appreciated by paying paid the highest wages .

This

Linking Words

does not mean that we had to underestimate

othe

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other

professions , but I believe that payments should be proportional to the

moural

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moral

values and to the services that

Add a missing verb

are being

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being

Change the form of the verb

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offered to societies in terms of saving lives or improving life quality, and what might more than being a

taecher

Correct your spelling

teacher

, a physician, or a judge to be able to do so. In conclusion, I agree that payment for

celibrities

Correct your spelling

celebrities

and entertainers

such

Linking Words

as singers, sports

palyers

Correct your spelling

players

are getting extremely high while there are many great professions

such

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as teaching , medical jobs that deserve,in my opinion, to be paid more , and I hope

this

Linking Words

trend is going to be changed in the near future.

Submitted by mkhmd68 on Mon Nov 15 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new houses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?