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Band 4

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment？

#people #house #apartment #apartment？
It is important to consider the building type of
home
 when searching for a place to stay. Some
people
 believe that
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 is suitable to live in, while others have the opinion that staying in an
apartment
 has more
benefits
 .Clearly, living in an
apartment
 has more
benefits
 than drawbacks. The
first
 point I would like to make is that
Apartment
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 usually built closer to the public transit station, it is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 advantageous location, which means more convenience for
people
 to
commuting
Wrong verb form
commute
show examples
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the meantime, Accommodation near the station
also
 brings more
benefits
 in
safely
Replace the word
safety
show examples
, if
people
 go
home
 late in the evening, they can arrive
home
 very quickly do not have to walk a long way to go
home
 in the dark.
However
, it could be suggested that house has large size and privacy,
people
 can buy more
Correct your spelling
furniture
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
 to decoration their
home
, even can buy some fitness equipment to do exercise and so on. But, if there are have too many furnishings which means
people
 have to spend more time to clean, it
occupy
Change the verb form
occupies
show examples
 time away from work or rest. Another important issue is that living in an
apartment
,
people
 might
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
safely
Replace the adverb
safe
show examples
 because
apartment
Add an article
the apartment
show examples
 can receive protection from
twenty four
Add a hyphen
twenty-four
show examples
 hours
surveillance
Change preposition
of surveillance
show examples
 cameras and trained guards in every
apartment
’s main hall,
besides
, nowadays many
apartment
Change to a plural noun
apartments
show examples
 have specific electronic locks on each floor for the elevator. So there is no doubt that living in an
apartment
 has many
benefits
,
as a result
 of apartments have some advantages of better facilities and come without any worries of maintenance, if
people
 lay emphasis on
safely
Replace the word
safety
show examples
 and convenience of life, living in an
apartment
 are a better option.
Submitted by quteyuki1022 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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