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Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment？

#people #house #apartment #apartment？
It is widely acknowledged
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which type of accommodation for
people
 to live. While some believe it is better to live in a
house
, others think that living in an apartment has more benefits. I believe living in a
house
 has more advantages
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with living in an apartment.
Firstly
 the main advantage of living in a
house
 is that it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more private space,
homeowner
Add an article
a homeowner
the homeowner
show examples
 can plant their favourite plants in the yard.
secondly
,
houses
 typically have multiple rooms which mean more space for leisure and relaxation especially for family with children.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
,
houses
also
 have greater privacy because
house
 residents do not have to share an elevator or stairs with others.
Conversely
, apartments are generally smaller and they are
also
 less private due to neighbours living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
very close. Some
people
 are concerned about the negatives of
houses
, an important one is less safety. Most
houses
 has no
security
 guards and only installed one door which easy to attract
thief
Fix the agreement mistake
thieves
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
houses
 are in remote areas and places with few
people
. Compare with the apartment, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 frequently
equipment
Replace the word
equipped
show examples
 with
security
 cameras and other criminal
precaution
Fix the agreement mistake
precautions
show examples
.
This
 could be true to some extent.
Nevertheless
, from the long-term point of view, the legislation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 getting stricter in many
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
. Many local governments will take measures to strengthen public
security
 to minimise its negative on communities. Including
house
 area ;
therefore
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that
security
 risks will become decreasing. In conclusion, I think that the advantages of
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 outweigh its disadvantage in space and comfortable side, more suitable for
people
 to lives.It can even overcome the insecurity issue.
Submitted by quteyuki1022 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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