IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that preserving wildlife is so critical. People hold different views as to whether all wild
animals
Use synonyms
 should be protected or just some of them. In my opinion, all kinds of
Use synonyms
animals'
Change noun form
animals
show examples
 species should be protected. On the one hand, some people think we should solely save the lives of
animals
Use synonyms
 that may be endangered very soon.
This
Linking Words
 could be because of the fact that preserving some of the wild
animals
Use synonyms
 would need less amount of effort and expense
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than saving the whole creatures in nature.
Moreover
Linking Words
, providing
Correct article usage
a labor
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
responsible for protecting all
animals
Use synonyms
 might be impossible somehow. Take
for example
Linking Words
 Asian Cheetahs, which are about to become endangered in Iran. If the government dedicated all of its energy and money to
this
Linking Words
 species, the risk of Asian Cheetahs being endangered would be mitigated very soon.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I would argue that it is our responsibility to preserve the wildlife habitat of all kinds of
animals
Use synonyms
, no matter how hard and tedious it would be for both people and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, we should respect the lives of all
animals
Use synonyms
. By paying enough attention to different
animals
Use synonyms
, which can be done through strategies
such
Linking Words
 as establishing zoos, saving them from predators and so forth, we would be able to prevent ecosystems from becoming destroyed.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 it is thought by some that we should spend our money and time on saving special types of creatures, I am convinced that all
animals
Use synonyms
 need to be preserved.
Submitted by sepidehmehrpour on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate to the task question and clearly express a point of view.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural habitats
  • ecological balance
  • biodiversity
  • confinement
  • natural stimuli
  • psychological problems
  • genetic homogeneity
  • environmental changes
  • adapt and evolve
  • survival of the fittest
  • social structures
  • communication patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: