IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the alterations of the crime in Manchester city centre in three various zone in ten years consecutive.starting from 2003.

The given line graph illustrates the information about the alterations of the
crime
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 in Manchester
city
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 centre in three various zones in ten years consecutive.starting from 2003. Overall, the
rate
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 of
crime
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 in Burglary indicated a downward trend, while that of Car Theft increased. According to the graph, it can be seen that in 2003, the Burglary
city
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 has the highest amount of
crime
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,which was approximately almost 3500
cases
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.
This
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 number was significantly higher; almost 7 times higher than the figure of the Robbery
city
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 which accounted for around only 500
cases
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. The
second
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-highest
rate
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 was the Car Theft
city
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, with roughly almost 2500
cases
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.between 2004 and 2008,
although
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 Burglary
city
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 experienced a dramatic decrease in
crime
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 amount, dropping to only 1000
cases
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, its
rate
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 rose slightly to approximately 1500
cases
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 in 2012.
Moreover
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, between 2004 and 2008, the Car Theft
city
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 indicated a fluctuated trend.
However
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, by 2012, its number increased gradually to around 2800, making its
rate
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 was the majority of the three cities.
In addition
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, at the begging, the figure for the Robby
city
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’s
rate
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 rose steadily to around 1000
cases
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 in 2005.
However
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, its
rate
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 experienced a downward trend after passing six years, which was decline to a similar figure of 2003’s
rate
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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