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A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
Many people say that getting a high
salary
 is more valuable than getting satisfied with
jobs
. In my opinion, a high
salary
 is largely important compared to job
satisfaction
 due to good effects on
companies
 and promotion. Taking a good
salary
 leads to obtaining high responsibility and more
satisfaction
 about
work
. Only the way that
employees
 can feel how
companies
jadge
Correct your spelling
judge
 them
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
salary
.
Therefore
, if they get an unexpectedly low
salary
 rate, they tend to decrease their motivation.
Moreover
,
work
 efficiency might be worse.
For example
,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 well-known Japanese socialist said ‘’ People who get high
salary
 tend to
work
 hard because they feel
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
 that
companies
jadge
Correct your spelling
judge
 them well.’’ It is shown that when
employees
 get a high
salary
, they
work
 hard and bring good results to their
companies
.
Moreover
, if
employees
work
 really hard it will cause them to be promoted . Employers always check how
employees
 do at
work
 and what they do for
companies
.
Thus
, there is a high possibility that hard workers can get a promotion offer.
In addition
, it makes a virtuous circle. According to a financial newspaper in Japan,
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
jobs
 do not raise
employees
’ motivation.
On the contrary
, a big
salary
 makes them hard workers.
In addition
, obtaining job
satisfaction
 is
also
 an important part of
work
. Except for
this
, we can not continue working. The reason why I think they need
satisfaction
 is that no one wants to
work
 with anxiety. They need confidence
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
work
.
However
, people can not live only satisfied with
jobs
, they definitely need money to survive. In conclusion, a high
salary
 provides advantages to
companies
 and
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
.
Although
 there is an opposite opinion, I still believe that a large
salary
 brings big benefits more than satisfying
jobs
.
Submitted by satomiitoh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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