A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many people say that getting a high
salary
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is more valuable than getting satisfied with
jobs
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. In my opinion, a high
salary
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is largely important compared to job
satisfaction
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due to good effects on
companies
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and promotion. Taking a good
salary
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leads to obtaining high responsibility and more
satisfaction
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about
work
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. Only the way that
employees
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can feel how
companies
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jadge
Correct your spelling
judge
them
is
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are
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salary
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.
Therefore
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, if they get an unexpectedly low
salary
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rate, they tend to decrease their motivation.
Moreover
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,
work
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efficiency might be worse.
For example
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,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
well-known Japanese socialist said ‘’ People who get high
salary
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tend to
work
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hard because they feel
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
that
companies
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jadge
Correct your spelling
judge
them well.’’ It is shown that when
employees
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get a high
salary
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, they
work
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hard and bring good results to their
companies
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.
Moreover
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, if
employees
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work
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really hard it will cause them to be promoted . Employers always check how
employees
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do at
work
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and what they do for
companies
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.
Thus
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, there is a high possibility that hard workers can get a promotion offer.
In addition
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, it makes a virtuous circle. According to a financial newspaper in Japan,
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
jobs
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do not raise
employees
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’ motivation.
On the contrary
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, a big
salary
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makes them hard workers.
In addition
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, obtaining job
satisfaction
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is
also
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an important part of
work
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. Except for
this
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, we can not continue working. The reason why I think they need
satisfaction
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is that no one wants to
work
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with anxiety. They need confidence
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
work
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.
However
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, people can not live only satisfied with
jobs
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, they definitely need money to survive. In conclusion, a high
salary
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provides advantages to
companies
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and
promotion
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promotions
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.
Although
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there is an opposite opinion, I still believe that a large
salary
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brings big benefits more than satisfying
jobs
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.
Submitted by satomiitoh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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