A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction

Many people say that getting a high

salary

is more valuable than getting satisfied with

jobs

. In my opinion, a high

salary

is largely important compared to job

satisfaction

due to good effects on

companies

and promotion. Taking a good

salary

leads to obtaining high responsibility and more

satisfaction

about

work

. Only the way that

employees

can feel how

companies

jadge

Correct your spelling

judge

them

Change the verb form

are

show examples

salary

Therefore

, if they get an unexpectedly low

salary

rate, they tend to decrease their motivation.

Moreover

work

efficiency might be worse.

For example

Change the article

show examples

well-known Japanese socialist said ‘’ People who get high

salary

tend to

work

hard because they feel

confidence

Replace the word

confident

show examples

that

companies

jadge

Correct your spelling

judge

them well.’’ It is shown that when

employees

get a high

salary

, they

work

hard and bring good results to their

companies

Moreover

, if

employees

work

really hard it will cause them to be promoted . Employers always check how

employees

do at

work

and what they do for

companies

Thus

, there is a high possibility that hard workers can get a promotion offer.

In addition

, it makes a virtuous circle. According to a financial newspaper in Japan,

satisfied

Replace the word

satisfying

show examples

jobs

do not raise

employees

’ motivation.

On the contrary

, a big

salary

makes them hard workers.

In addition

, obtaining job

satisfaction

also

an important part of

work

. Except for

this

, we can not continue working. The reason why I think they need

satisfaction

is that no one wants to

work

with anxiety. They need confidence

about

Change preposition

show examples

their

work

However

, people can not live only satisfied with

jobs

, they definitely need money to survive. In conclusion, a high

salary

provides advantages to

companies

and

promotion

Fix the agreement mistake

promotions

show examples

Although

there is an opposite opinion, I still believe that a large

salary

brings big benefits more than satisfying

jobs

Submitted by satomiitoh on Thu Nov 18 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You are working in a company and you have decided to leave your current employment. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter: Explain why you are leaving. Explain why you have decided to leave your company. Tell your employer what you plan to do after leaving your present employment.

Some people think that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. what are the advantages and dis advantages of this trend?