IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people say that the use of animals for the purpose of experiments is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #animals #purpose #experiments
In modern society, medical technology has been improving because many
animals
 are used for the purpose of
experiments
.
Although
 there is a belief that
this
 trend is cruel, it is clear that using
animals
 for
experiments
 is necessary in
order
 to save human lives. The
first
 aspect to point out is that new
medications
 and
vaccines
 are made by having experimented on
animals
. In
order
 to discover new
medications
 and
vaccines
, scientists need to check their positive and negative effects. In
this
 case, they need to use
animals
.
This
 is because some diseases are from
animals
such
 as SARS.
Therefore
, scientists need to analyse the disease itself and try to find out
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective
medications
 or
vaccines
 in
order
 to protect humans.
However
, it could be suggested that there are plenty of
medications
 and
vaccines
 are available in our society.
Therefore
,
experiments
 on
animals
 should be restricted when it is in necessary or urgent situations. It is a fact that the current
medications
 and
vaccines
 have been proven that they
are
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 effective.
Thus
, scientists could work on finding out new
medications
 and
vaccines
 when a new illness is found in
order
 to protect
animals
 as well. To conclude, despite the fact that
experiments
 on
animals
 are controversial because there is an ethical issue behind it, it is still necessary to find ways of protecting people by improving the effects of
medications
.
Therefore
, animal
experiments
 should be accepted but there should
also
 be a consideration about the ethical problems.
Submitted by hiromi-o.1828 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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