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Band 7

In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government to solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #responsibility #government
Obesity in young adults is becoming one of the major concerns of
this
 contemporary world. Some people argue that the
government
 should be in charge of solving
this
 vital issue.
This
 essay will discuss why the
government
 should not be the only sector that responsible for
this
 problem, but
also
 the parent that should help to solve
this
 situation.
To begin
 with, In all human societies, the family is a primary social unit. Children are born and nurtured in the family, which means that parents can influence the lifestyle of their offspring especially eating ‘s habits or exercising.
Therefore
, dealing with
this
 health problem should
also
 be the duty of the family.
For instance
,
besides
 having lunch at school, other meals for teenagers would mostly be provided by their parents. Family can carefully choose a healthy diet and
also
 encourage the youth to do more exercise which will lead them to have perfect physical fitness. Meanwhile, the
government
 is
also
 a significant part of society to resolve
this
 problem because it has the authority to enforce the law or regulations. Taxing junk food or sugar can potentially encourage people to buy more healthy alternatives.
Furthermore
, restriction on TV or online advertising of HFSS foods (High in fat, salt or sugar foods) could be a policy that reduces drivers of excess calories intake and sedentary lifestyle. In conclusion, to build strong and healthy communities in the future, not only the
government
 but
also
 the parents should be responsible for childhood obesity and excessive weight gain.
Submitted by 180nam.r405 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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