A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure thier safety. Therefore , some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spent less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree ?

Every nation's authority
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some responsibilities regarding
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
public to feel
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
secure and
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
show examples
of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
people
of any country is the
first
priority of every government. But some natives
believes
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believe
show examples
that government should
spent
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spend
show examples
more money on
Correct article usage
the defense
show examples
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
system rather than social benefits. I
am completely disagree
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completely disagree
show examples
with
this
given notion and the facts of the thesis will
be demonstrate
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be demonstrated
show examples
in the
followings
Replace the word
following
show examples
paragraphs. In
this
digitalised world , innovations in social
wellfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
are more important to increase safety level as well as
comfort
Add an article
the comfort
show examples
level for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. One of the primary
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
behind the feeling
unsecure
Correct your spelling
insecure
by
people
is the regular increment in online payments frauds. Government money should be utilised to tackle digital attacks. High security from
cyber
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the cyber
show examples
department is needed to make transactions safe. It can be
results
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
chances of online scams as well as
people
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
more secure and comfortable in order to make online transactions.
In addition
, there is no benefit if online attacks are being made on
people
.
Public
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The public
show examples
will
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
their faith or trust
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
online payments which will be a serious drawback and failure to make a nation digital. As some critics
argues
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argue
show examples
that it is necessary to make
military
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the military
show examples
system strong by investing in it.
Definitely
Add a comma
,Definitely
show examples
it helps everyone to feel safe from another country but there is no mean if
local
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the local
show examples
public is unsafe from its own residents who
commits
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commit
show examples
crimes and thefts. It will be more effective by increasing protection in local areas at night and day time
also
.
For instance
,
helding
Correct your spelling
holding
police duties at late night in public places will help every individual to feel
more safe
Replace the words
safer
show examples
. Crimes and theft cases will automatically decline by taking these effective steps for public safety. In general ,
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
should complete its responsibilities by spending on social benefits to protect its residents. Rather than increasing
security
Correct article usage
the security
show examples
of
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
,
Add an article
the authority
show examples
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
should invest in
cyber
Add an article
the cyber
show examples
sector to track online scams as well as to make
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
environment safe decrease crime rates.
Submitted by amritpal.grewal0005 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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