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Band 4.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

#places #world #tourism #source #income #spurce
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In many countries around the world,
tourism
Use synonyms
 makes up 57 per cent of their financial income. As beneficial as
this
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 may seem
tourism
Use synonyms
 has some drawbacks to be considered. The question that remains is whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
This
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 will be explained in
further
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 detail in the upcoming paragraphs. ,One evident advantage of travel is that it allows people to explore new cultures and learn more about their history and traditions,
in other words
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, meet diverse groups of people, which can lead to improving self-development. Another reason why is advantageous is that profit earned from
tourism
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 can be reinvested into the country for better infrastructure, education, and creating more ways of touring. A recent survey by the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
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 of
finance
Capitalize word
Finance
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 found that in the past five
years
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years,
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tourism
Use synonyms
 has contributed tremendously to lowering some
regions
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region's
regions'
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 budget deficit
On the contrary
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, there are obvious disadvantages to
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, it can increase environmental pollution rates
due to
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 touristic activities and projects conducted to attract as many travellers as possible.
Moreover
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, the
tourism
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 industry can inadvertently sustain itself without aiding other sectors. As
such
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, many countries develop
tourism
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 hot spots
while
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 the rest of the country suffers leading to socioeconomic gaps between the wealthy and the poor.
Due to
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 the United Nations World
Tourism
Use synonyms
 Organization's
last
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 study released
in2019
Correct your spelling
in 2019
, countries that are highly
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
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 on
touristry
Correct your spelling
tourism
show examples
 suffer from economic recession if an unprecedented pandemic or natural disasters occur. In conclusion,
while
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touristry
Correct your spelling
tourism
show examples
 can expand peoples' horizons and increase job opportunities,
hence
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 lowering the rates of unemployment, it can
also
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 cause more damage if not well-managed.
Therefore
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, it is vital to weigh the advantages and disadvantages before investing in the touristry industry and depending immensely on it to revive a country's economy.
Submitted by hananyasinn on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are comprehensive and effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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