IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people prefer to have temporary jobs, which means they only work a few months in a year and use the rest of the time to do what they want. What is your opinion?

#people #jobs #work #months #year #rest #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays there are some people
prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
show examples
 to do part-time
jobs
Use synonyms
 rather than full-time
jobs
Use synonyms
. Some people think that it affects positively, whereas others believe that it is not good for the future. I partially agree with having temporary work. Obviously, there are many reasons why I think it is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we work hard to do what we really want. Employees who have whether temporary or permanent
jobs
Use synonyms
 work to enjoy the
rest
Use synonyms
 time.
However
Linking Words
, it is sometimes difficult for workers in a company to
rest
Use synonyms
 completely without holidays.
Thus
Linking Words
, it can be better to have part-time
jobs
Use synonyms
 and use the
rest
Use synonyms
 of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 to do what they want.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can research during using the
rest
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
months
Correct article usage
the months
show examples
. There are many people who wonder what they want to do surely.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone has
temporary
Add an article
a temporary
the temporary
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
months
Use synonyms
 and use
rest
Use synonyms
months
Use synonyms
 for discovering one’s hidden talents and future dream
job
Use synonyms
, they will consider
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities about what they want.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 demerits of having temporary
jobs
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it can be hard when emergency situations appear.
For instance
Linking Words
, if emergency circumstances
such
Linking Words
 as sickness, financial problems or accidents occur, they may borrow
loan
Correct article usage
a loan
show examples
 from a bank.
Besides
Linking Words
, almost
workers
Correct quantifier usage
all workers
show examples
 who have part-time
jobs
Use synonyms
 earn less money than full-time
job
Use synonyms
 employees.
Thus
Linking Words
, it will be
also
Linking Words
 hard to save
Add an article
a deposit
the deposit
show examples
deposit
Fix the agreement mistake
deposits
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, temporary working is unsafety. Workers can be fired whenever and the quantity of income can be changed according to employers and each
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 having temporary
jobs
Use synonyms
 for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
months
Use synonyms
 and
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 the
rest
Use synonyms
 time for doing activities what they want can be better, it will be hard for emergency situations and not safe for the future.
Submitted by hongpepe124 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • pursue
  • self-development
  • life satisfaction
  • balance
  • job security
  • financial instability
  • stress and anxiety
  • unemployment
  • long-term financial commitments
  • diverse experiences
  • employability
  • broader perspective
  • adaptable
  • innovative
  • career progression
  • benefits
  • personal growth
  • financial security
  • invest
  • career milestones
What to do next:
Look at other essays: