IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity for instance, in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate and give your personal view

#people #animals #captivity #zoos #humans #debate
There has been long debate surrounding animal captivating.
However
,
animals
 should Live free, they have beneficial uses in researchers. There are valid opinions on both sides which I will consider now. On the one hand, some people believe that
animals
 are kept in artificial environments and conditions are controlled by humans. Scientists believe that it has a negative impact on some species natality.
In addition
, living in zoos causes to
animals
 rely on humans and they cannot leave independently in nature.
Finally
, we have no right to use
animals
 for entertainment and profits. It is notable that in most sociable and developed countries social members prefer to watch fauna wildlife on TV programs like National Geographic compare within limited places.
On the other hand
, there are a number of reasons which could be given referred
such
 a claim. The most important reason is they help to protect endangered species. Take the kind of Iranian lions that are lived in the
last
 century, if the government had kept them in a protected area with fences or in cages, now we can see them in their habitat.
Furthermore
, experts in different areas have the opportunity to study their behaviour and especially to some medical experience for new inventions in the
First
 Steps.
Finally
, children ,
in particular
, enjoy learning about
animals
 and it has economic merit for parents due to the affordable cost in comparison with wildlife tours or camping. Overall, from point of my view, it is essential to achieve a balance between both wheels
also
 is in
this
 situation using
animals
 for researchers is ex-police evolve the
animals
 right is not ignorable and should be respected.
Submitted by farzad420 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: