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Band 3

Task 2: There are more and more effective security measures in large cities to reduce the crime. Does the endeavor bring more benefits than problems?

#security #measures #cities #crime #endeavor
It is assumed that beneficial security
actions
 in
metropolices
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metropolises
 can diminish
crime
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the crime
show examples
 rate,
i
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I
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 consider that these
actions
 bring more
advantageges
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advantages
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society rather than
it's
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its
show examples
 negative impacts.
To begin
 with, by showing the offenders punishment in social media's,as people getting updated and informed about everything by
this
 tools
such
 as
smart phone
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smartphone
show examples
, the internet , social application and so on .they may get informed about criminals
punishement
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punishment
 by means of these
divices
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devices
this
 may totally avoid them to break the laws.
Moreover
, safety which is concerned in
mega cities
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megacities
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 can be
addresed
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addressed
 by
govermental
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governmental
 control, to be
specific
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a specific
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 , police
station
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stations
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 in every part of the city
besides
,police commute all around the big city makes citizens feel confident and offenders not to commit criminal
actions
any more
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anymore
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.
In addition
 , Authorities have to put hard punishment for even small crimes
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
 people be more aware of their
actions
 and be law-
abinding
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abiding
for example
 in
saudia
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Saudia
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arabia
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Arabia
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 the
punishmet
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punishment
 for rubbery is cutting hands and people are
fear
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fearful
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 of
commiting
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committing
 it in society.
Consequently
, corruption which is prevalent in many societies can be prevented by authority's wise
pollicy's
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policy's
policies
 and
survillance
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surveillance
such
 as stop bribing from dwellers to
goverments
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governments
 And put into action their punishment In conclusion, there are some ways to
elliminate
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eliminate
 crime in big cities
such
az
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as
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puting
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putting
harf
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Harf
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punishmet
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punishment
punishments
 for offenders and
illustrate
Wrong verb form
illustrating
show examples
 them via social media's, there for the role of the authorities cannot be neglected.
Submitted by sp1371 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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