IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You are applying to have a job as sa caregiver. Describe the reason why you think you are worthy to be hired

#job #sa #caregiver #reason
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Dear Sir/ Madam My name is Ann ( Do Thi Hang Nga), I am searching for a
part time
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part-time
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 job as a
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Correct your spelling
caregiver
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care giver
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caregiver
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 in Christchurch. After having my
first
Linking Words
 baby
last
Linking Words
 year, I have decided to change my career as a chef to be a caregiver. With the passion of helping others, patience and taking good
care
Use synonyms
 in
details
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detail
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, I believe that I can contribute my value…..
Truthly
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Truly
 I am trying my best to create my future career in health
care
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, I even prepared to
enroll
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enrol
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to
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on
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 the Master of Nursing Science course at Otago University in
Chrsitchurch
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Christchurch
 from
Februay
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February
 2022. Most of my bosses that I worked with before were very happy with my performance at work, due to my
hard working
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hard-working
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, responsible, honest and respectful attitude. After being working in New Zealand for more than 7 years with different jobs, from orchards to factories and hospitality, I gained the ability to adopt new skills quickly when starting working in any kind of job.
Morever
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Moreover
, with the experience of taking
care
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my
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of my
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 11
months
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month
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 old baby, I am confident to tackle
with
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apply
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the tasks at your rest home after
a
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apply
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training.Back
to
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in
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 Vietnam, I learned the value of helping people at an abbey for a year after graduating from University. My sister and one of my close
friend
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friends
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 are working as a caregiver in
Chistchurch
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Christchurch
, so I understand most of the job characters at a rest home. I am living at Colwyn street, Bryndwr in Christchurch, so it is very close to your rest home. I hope that I can have a chance to
taking
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take
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care
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for
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of
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 the elderly in my neighbourhood. If you need
anymore
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any more
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 information from me, please let me know, it would be my pleasure to exchange more details with you
in
Change preposition
at
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 your convenient time.
Submitted by hangnga0602 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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