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Band 4.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
According to many, both sexes
education
 require segregation of
schools
 whereas others
against
Add a missing verb
are against
show examples
 it.
This
 essay clarifies how religion and culture can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different types of
schools
.
However
,
mix
Wrong verb form
mixed
show examples
 sex institutions can contribute significantly and eliminate bias in
certain
Add an article
a certain
the certain
show examples
male dominated
Add a hyphen
male-dominated
show examples
 professions. To initiate with, the religion and culture can play a big part to
segregrate
Correct your spelling
segregate
segregated
schools
 for both sexes. Numerous Muslim countries separate their children
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
schools
 due to religious and cultural reasons. In the United Arab Emirates,
for example
, kids are
segrated
Correct your spelling
segregated
seated
 for their
education
 due to religious binding according to the source of the daily newspaper Khaleej.
In addition
,
this
 separation assists children to grow independently and
express
Wrong verb form
expressing
show examples
 themselves without any guidance.
As a result
, these
schools
girls
, especially, are learning typical subjects and not accepting the challenge of
male dominated
Add a hyphen
male-dominated
show examples
 fields
such
 as physics, science, or any mathematical related subjects due to the religious
education
.
Therefore
, separation of
schools
 is not assisting women to grow.
In contrast
, studying in mix sex
schools
, children’s are encouraged to grow equally. Without the bias of religion or culture, children will learn manners at the early stage of life, and
girls
 will be treated with respect.
As a result
,
girls
 will be encouraged to participate in challenging
education
 in
male dominated
Add a hyphen
male-dominated
show examples
 fields;
nevertheless
,
girls
 are not still seeking challenging subjects in the real-life,
although
 they are attending mixed
schools
. Australia,
for instance
, has recently produced their
first
 female surgeon to the world according to the source of ABC.
Consequently
, it is obvious that mixed
schools
 in the developed world have not assisted female professionals to pursue careers in
male dominated
Add a hyphen
male-dominated
show examples
 professions. To conclude,
different sex
Add a hyphen
different-sex
show examples
schools
 will not help women to pursue challenging professions.
On the other hand
, mixed
schools
 contribution is not influencing enough to grow women professionals.
Submitted by toriqul1976 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
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