IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #advertisements #products #lives
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My
viewpoint
Use synonyms
 would be that both sides
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a part to play in how
persons
Use synonyms
 decide to spend.
For the
Change preposition
The
show examples
first
Linking Words
viewpoint
Use synonyms
 where it suggests that advertising encourages useless spending can be true to some extent. Some advertising agencies make the products very appealing by exaggerating
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 usefulness and as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
price.
Therefore
Linking Words
persons
Use synonyms
 are always in a rush to purchase the item either because they think that they need it or the price is too appealing to let go.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the other side would see it as some
persons
Use synonyms
 not being driven by the advertisement but just enjoy shopping. The other
viewpoint
Use synonyms
 where it suggests that advertisements actually tell
persons
Use synonyms
 about new products. I would agree to some extent due to the fact that through the advertisement
persons
Use synonyms
 get to find out about new ways to
improves
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 lives and
lifstyles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
lifestyle
.
For example
Linking Words
, getting a new dishwasher
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 washes very clean without previous rinsing or purchasing an air fryer to decrease fatty intake.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 it can be suggested that these products may enhance the lives of individuals tremendously especially when working or
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 children.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 it can be suggested that why
replace
Add the particle
to replace
show examples
 a good dishwasher when the old
does
Correct pronoun usage
one does
show examples
 the same washing with a few added features.
This
Linking Words
 is where it can be seen
as
Add the preposition
toas
show examples
 whether there is useless buying or improvement in life. I would say that both
Use synonyms
viewpoint
Change to a plural noun
viewpoints
show examples
 brings forth their own opinion of advertising where I would agree with both to some extent.
Submitted by rashidjuansen26 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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