Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #people’s #interest

Nowadays, youth are more

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

in well known foreign celebrities compared to their own country’s historical figures. There are numerous reasons as to why

this

is happening and steps could be taken to develop interest among the young to read more about their own history. I consider that

this

is mainly due to increased usage of the internet and

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

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. In fact,watching internationally famous movies and songs is trendy among these age groups.

This

constant exposure to celebrities'

lifestyle

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lifestyles

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keeps teenagers informed of even unimportant details of their life and personality.

This

subject about international famous celebrities is mainly discussed in friend’s gatherings and meetings and one who does not have information about it may be called stupid. There are some ways to aid youth to become familiar more with their historical artists.

To begin

with , as

educational

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the educational

show examples

system has a vital role in training and nurturing children in society,they have to instruct the students about historical national icons. Meanwhile,since

usage

Add an article

the usage

show examples

of Of Social media

such

as T.Vprograms,advertisements and social applications are prevalent among them, authorities should choose a policy

such

as playing the historical songs on television or historical movies in cinema

beside

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besides

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making films of their biography in order to make youth be familiar with their own historical famous artists by these mentioned tools.

In addition

,families must bring up their children by illustrating their own culture to them and

persuade

Wrong verb form

persuading

show examples

them to find out their

favorite

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favourite

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historical writers and poets. To sum up, as international popular artists are more prosperous and well known among

this

generation, we have to tackle

this

issue

Change preposition

with

show examples

the help of

educational

Correct article usage

the educational

show examples

system ; authorities should provide its infrastructure,

also

the role of parents cannot be neglected.

Submitted by sp1371 on Fri Nov 19 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pervasive
Globalized media
Social media platforms
Contemporary culture
Glamorous
Educational curriculum
Multimedia resources
National pride
Exhibitions
Engaging storytelling
Interactive apps
Historical figures
Narratives
Celebrations
Underemphasizing

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Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the government should pay for healthcare and education, but others believe it is not the government's responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

CEOs and executives should be paid the same salary as an average worker in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some think scientists should be allowed to send messages into space to communicate with other life forms while others believe this is too dangerous. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.