IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#meat #diet
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In the globalized world, the keen desire of human beings is to have
a mendatory
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amendatory
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 and healthy lifestyle. As it is believed by
cohort
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the cohort
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 that there
is
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are
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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no requirements of flesh in order to become fit and fine since plant
base
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based
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foods
 have
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 nutrients which present in
non vegetarian
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non-vegetarian
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foods
. I firmly accord with the given notion and the upcoming paragraphs will shed the light on my agreement in more detail. Analysing the statement and explaining
further
 the
first
 and foremost thing to be in
this
 favour is that vitamins and proteins are the main
objective
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objectives
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 of a fine
diet
 and all these nutrients are in
abundun
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abundance
abundant
 in the vegetarian
diet
, as an outcome the individuals are not only able to enjoy the fresh but
also
 the healthy
diet
 as well from plant
base
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based
show examples
foods
. Another striking factor in
this
 regard is that some
funas
Correct your spelling
funds
fun as
 are already suffering from myriad diseases
thus
 by feeding on them major health issues can be observed by the people. To epitome, a survey, which was monitored by the department of health in 2018, that the life cycle of the inhabitants who preferred to eat meat was 70
percent
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per cent
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 less
comparitively
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comparatively
 to vegetarian masses. Probing ahead, another underlying reason stems behind the fact
that
is
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it
show examples
is
Remove the redundancy
apply
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against the etiquette of many religions to use
the
Correct article usage
a
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diet
 which
are
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is
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 based on animals as it is not considered under
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mortality.
For example
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Hindu
Mythology
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,Mythology
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 the involvement of animals for
the
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apply
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food purposes is considered
as
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apply
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an injustice. To infer, after the deliberation aforementioned above, it can be said that
although
non vegetarian
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non-vegetarian
show examples
 sustenances
has
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have
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 their own importance in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
diet
, yet I personally ponder that because of the presence of every
nutrients
Change to a singular noun
nutrient
show examples
 in vegetarian
foods
, everyone should become vegetarian.
Submitted by HMP on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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