IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school.Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

#parents #children #home #school
Throughout our lives, education plays an important role,
therefore
 many families decide to teach their kids at home rather than
private
Change preposition
in private
show examples
 schools.
This
 could be more beneficial for their children rather than going to school.
This
 is why in
this
 essay, I am going to discuss some of the advantages of homeschooling. Sometimes, young people find themselves studying in big schools, where the classes have many students and it becomes hard for them to focus on each individual.
this
 is why homeschooling can help them to be more flexible in the way they prefer to
study
 focusing on their needs.
For instance
,some subjects are affected by some
study
difficulty
Fix the agreement mistake
difficulties
show examples
, and
such
 a
study
 could help them to understand what they need to improve
instead
 of local schools where they may don't even consider it. Though, they won't be able to socialise much with other students.
Although
, In my personal opinion, young students are still bullied in some
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. Another reason why they can be more protected if they are educated at home, fewer chances to get into fight or trauma because of some bad behaviour from other kids.
This
 happens to most of the children that have difficulty
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
integrating with the rest of the groups,
in contrast
, parents at home can help them to give them a safe introduction to the real world. In conclusion, education is really important for young people.
That is
 why families decide to do homeschooling for them, so it becomes more flexible to
study
 and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safer to live their life.
Submitted by Tizi999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: