IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the best way to imporve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #imporve #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures
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Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are bussy
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bussy
Correct your spelling
busy
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about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 work and study.they have a don't
time
Use synonyms
 other
activities
Use synonyms
 like
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
playing
sports
Use synonyms
 and exercise .they most like spent
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 at home.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
counsider
Correct your spelling
consider
that
Change the determiner
that sports facility
those sports facilities
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 the best
way
Use synonyms
 to improve
health
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 would have little effect on public
health
Use synonyms
 but I agree
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 good
way
Use synonyms
 to
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 public
helth
Correct your spelling
health
 because now
time
Use synonyms
 whole
people
Use synonyms
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 indoors
activities
Use synonyms
 like they playing video games etc.that
way
Use synonyms
 big effects on
health
Use synonyms
.
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 in whole cities because
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 increasing
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 public
health
Use synonyms
.slowly
slowly
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 coming
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 because they should enjoy
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 in
sports
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 and they during the exercise
activities
Use synonyms
.other advantage
people
Use synonyms
 should feel
mantley
Correct your spelling
medley
mentally
 good because now
time
Use synonyms
 they only
prefar
Correct your spelling
prefer
 indoor
activities
Use synonyms
 but
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 coming in society they should going
sports
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 and playing etch other and during exercise.
Other
Change the wording
Another hand
Other hands
show examples
hand some
Correct your spelling
handsome
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 say that would have little effect on public
health
Use synonyms
 and that other measures are required because now
time
Use synonyms
 more than
people
Use synonyms
 don't like spending free
time
Use synonyms
 outside and they more prefer free
time
Use synonyms
 during shopping and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 prefer
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 in
society
Add an article
the society
show examples
 .
Big
Add an article
The big
show examples
 effect of
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 now
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
 coming in like one internet and video games so
people
Use synonyms
 more than
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 they don't prefer going outside and
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
 the
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
. In my conclusion whole
people
Use synonyms
 spending
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 in
playground
Add an article
the playground
show examples
 because
this
Linking Words
 is good for
health
Use synonyms
.more prefer to
sports
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 in society and going
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
outside
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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