Some people say that the best way to imporve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
all
people
Add a missing verb
are bussy
show examples
bussy
Correct your spelling
busy
show examples
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
work and study.they have a don't
time
other
activities
like
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
playing
sports
and exercise .they most like spent
the
Change the word
their
show examples
free
time
at home.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
counsider
Correct your spelling
consider
that
Change the determiner
that sports facility
those sports facilities
show examples
sports
facilities
the best
way
to improve
health
. Some
people
say that
sports
facilities
would have little effect on public
health
but I agree
sports
facilities
good
way
to
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
public
helth
Correct your spelling
health
because now
time
whole
people
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
free
time
indoors
activities
like they playing video games etc.that
way
big effects on
health
.
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should provide
sports
facilities
in whole cities because
this
way
increasing
tha
Correct your spelling
the
public
health
.slowly
slowly
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
people
coming
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
because they should enjoy
the
Change the word
their
show examples
free
time
in
sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
and they during the exercise
activities
.other advantage
people
should feel
mantley
Correct your spelling
medley
mentally
good because now
time
they only
prefar
Correct your spelling
prefer
indoor
activities
but
sports
facilities
coming in society they should going
sports
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
and playing etch other and during exercise.
Other
Change the wording
Another hand
Other hands
show examples
hand some
Correct your spelling
handsome
show examples
people
say that would have little effect on public
health
and that other measures are required because now
time
more than
people
don't like spending free
time
outside and they more prefer free
time
during shopping and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
and they
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
prefer
sports
facilities
in
society
Add an article
the society
show examples
.
Big
Add an article
The big
show examples
effect of
this
way
now
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
facilities
coming in like one internet and video games so
people
more than
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time
using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
they don't prefer going outside and
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
the
sports
facilities
. In my conclusion whole
people
spending
the
Change the word
their
show examples
free
time
in
playground
Add an article
the playground
show examples
because
this
is good for
health
.more prefer to
sports
activities
in society and going
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
outside
Submitted by gsant95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: