World would be better place if more women were in leadership positions . To what extent you agree or disagree .

A person in a leadership seat should have all the qualities like knowledge , experience , emotions and so on . Some people argue that if more women were leaders
then
the world will be better as compared to now . I partially agree with the given statement .
To begin
with , the factors that why there would ve more ladies in politics .
Firstly
, they would develop the rules snd regulations for girls safety . To illustrate, girls safety is a big topic of concern all over the world , if ladies had power in her hand , it would never be a topic of concern .
Secondly
, women would take
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
by thinking about all the conditions like emotionally , financially and so on .
For instance
, when she
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
any decision , she would think about the poor people
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
how will they manage . And corruption would be disappeared she would distribute as much as she could to needy people . And the condition would be better now .
However
, knowledge about all the rules regulations
also
matter .
For example
, when a doctor does
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
operation or surgery , he has all the information regarding the patient situation , how to treat him by following the procedure carefully . As same as a doctor , politicians should all have knowledge about the public and his problem .
Moreover
, the experience should
also
playing
Change the verb form
play
be playing
show examples
a vital role in politics . As an inexperienced doctor do
operation
Correct article usage
an operation
show examples
, there are a lot of risks that the operation will be successful or not . Even though a politician might be able to do politics , he will never be able to fulfil the needs of the public and makes them feel happy .
Submitted by kiranghuman43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: