World would be better place if more women were in leadership positions . To what extent you agree or disagree .

#world #place #women #leadership #positions

A person in a leadership seat should have all the qualities like knowledge , experience , emotions and so on . Some people argue that if more women were leaders

then

the world will be better as compared to now . I partially agree with the given statement .

To begin

with , the factors that why there would ve more ladies in politics .

Firstly

, they would develop the rules snd regulations for girls safety . To illustrate, girls safety is a big topic of concern all over the world , if ladies had power in her hand , it would never be a topic of concern .

Secondly

, women would take

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

by thinking about all the conditions like emotionally , financially and so on .

For instance

, when she

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

any decision , she would think about the poor people

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

how will they manage . And corruption would be disappeared she would distribute as much as she could to needy people . And the condition would be better now .

However

, knowledge about all the rules regulations

also

matter .

For example

, when a doctor does

the

Correct article usage

show examples

operation or surgery , he has all the information regarding the patient situation , how to treat him by following the procedure carefully . As same as a doctor , politicians should all have knowledge about the public and his problem .

Moreover

, the experience should

also

playing

Change the verb form

play

be playing

show examples

a vital role in politics . As an inexperienced doctor do

operation

Correct article usage

an operation

show examples

, there are a lot of risks that the operation will be successful or not . Even though a politician might be able to do politics , he will never be able to fulfil the needs of the public and makes them feel happy .

Submitted by kiranghuman43 on Sun Nov 21 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

302 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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World would be better place if more women were in leadership positions . To what extent you agree or disagree .

Include an introduction and conclusion

Topic: Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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