Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Some authorities think that
people
joyful
Add a missing verb
are joyful
show examples
to do dangerous activities, which are hang gliding and mountain climbing. From my perspective, some
people
are having hobbies for doing that and I think it
is does
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not matter as long as the person doing it is an expert and responsible person.
First
of all, we know that some
people
like extreme
sports
.
A several
Correct the article-noun agreement
Several
show examples
people
are doing that because they have
a big courage
Remove the article
big courage
an act of big courage
a sign of big courage
show examples
and sometimes they are not afraid
anything
Change preposition
of anything
show examples
. Even, many
people
just want to try it for the
first
time to
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
the sensation of the activity.
For example
, a community in New Zealand do mountain climbing because the scenery is amazing and the air
so
Add a missing verb
is so
show examples
fresh,
although
is high risk.
Besides
that,
people
must have
in-dept
Correct your spelling
in-depth
show examples
knowledge to do that activity.
Thus
,
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
is able to go safely.
In addition
, it is good for
people
to try dangerous activities. For training our skills and feeling the vibes of
sports
.
However
, these
sports
are not cheap and rarely
people
Add a missing verb
do people
show examples
do these.
For instance
, bungee jumping in New Zealand has become a
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
sport there because many
people
are curious and want to try it, which made that country become famous because of extreme
sports
. So it is no problem if that sport has a guarantee of safety. In conclusion, citizens do extreme
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
their hobby and for fun.
Also
, It is good for
people
do
Add the particle
to do
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
of
sports
. Provided that, the activities
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
strict conditions for who wants to do it.
Submitted by yogiaanggraini24 on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adrenaline rush
  • Thrill-seeking
  • Personal growth
  • Accomplishment
  • Resilience
  • Risk management
  • Social recognition
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Endorphins
  • Fatality
  • Risk assessment
  • Cultural phenomenon
  • Recklessness
  • Safety precautions
  • Extreme sports
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