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Writing Samples
Band 5

Recent figures show that there is an increase in number of crimes among the young generation in big cities throughout the world.

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Introduction
Over the past few years, criminal cases are seen to be proliferating at a faster rate. Nowadays,
this
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 has become prevalent among the youth.
Additionally
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,
this
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 is one of the hotly-debated topics that often divide opinion.
Body paragraph 1
To commence with, unemployment is the foremost cause of
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
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 crime rate among the youth. When it comes to losing a perfect job, many young graduates heavily invest
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time by stealing valuable items to meet their daily money needs.
Therefore
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, lack of
job
Add an article
a job
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 is a great cause of frustration among them. A study has confirmed that at least 60% of young criminals are unemployed.
Body paragraph 2
Another concern is the vulnerability of family bonding. Family relationships are deteriorating
day-by-day
Correct your spelling
day by day
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.
Hence
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, teenagers are subjected to parental fighting and domestic violence which in turn give rise to juvenile violence. There is a great lacking
in
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of
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 parental supervision which results in difficult upbringing among the adolescents. So the moral and emotional conditions of children and youth get worse.
As a result
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, children become isolated and give more priority
on
Change preposition
to
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 privacy.
Moreover
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,
this
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 privacy creates a huge gap or distance among family members. Some youngsters lose their mental power and commit
Add an article
a crime
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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such
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 as suicide.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
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, there
is
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are
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 a lot more things to remedy
this
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 situation. So that every young intellectual needs more policies, schemes and attention so as to provide themselves
Add the preposition
with a
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a
Remove the article
apply
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better employment. More employment means greater opportunity.
Thus
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,
this
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 opens a door to financial and mental stability.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will make
lesser
Add an article
a lesser
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 number of individuals resort to criminal activities.
Conclusion
To conclude, we, as a society, are only responsible for
this
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 phenomenon and
with
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for
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 restoring
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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 appropriate steps. These steps include creating more job offers and family-friendly policies
in
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at
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 work and at home. Clearly,
this
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 will bring the crime rate among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young people to a much lower level.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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