Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while other think that people have become more independent.discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #world

Modernity

has changed the

world

since the

last

decades and with

Add a comma

,it

show examples

society's have transformed.

Therefore

people

's interactions

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

weaker, resulting in more independent persons. Along with

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

changes in relationship

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, technology has

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

stronger causing effects in

modernity

interrelations.

Firstly

, is important to mention that some decades before

families

around the

world

were bigger, making

this

connection between individuals stronger because

families

were more band together, sharing same interests, routines, place of living and jobs. Nowadays,

families

usually have fewer kids and their housing belongs related to their jobs making

families

apart. According to a Harvard study, since 2000 it was

demostrated

Correct your spelling

demonstrated

that

families

have many members living abroad or in a different city from their parents,

therefore

this

kind of distance develop on

people

autonomy and independence.

Additionally

, is impossible to avoid that technological growth has parted society's, because

this

innovation

allow

Change the verb form

allows

show examples

connections with

people

all around the

world

, consuming the attention that at

first

was given to a local place and now it is focused globally, making individuals apart because of their interests.

On the other hand

, there are some

people

that disagree with it and support that

modernity

has

delevoped

Correct your spelling

developed

more dependency between persons, claiming that

society's

Change the noun form

societies

society

show examples

have become more globalized,

therefore

they are more linked between them at economic, political and cultural issues. A clear example is the actual

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the performance of economy between countries, in the Colombian case we are dependent

from

Change preposition

show examples

China's economy. Making

this

country conditional on what happens on the other side of the

world

Finally

hilghlighting

Correct your spelling

highlighting

different point of

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

on the evolution of dependency in relations, I consider that

definetly

Correct your spelling

definitely

modernity

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

made

people

more independent as how it was decades ago. Making

families

and groups apart, caused at

first

because of the technology innovations we have had.

Submitted by lsparra98 on Sun Nov 21 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalization
technological advancements
collective action
digital evolution
minimal reliance
direct interaction
empowered
access to technology
societal expectations
personal choice
leverage

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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while other think that people have become more independent.discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: -explain why you are interested in helping -Give details suitable past experience -suggest ways you might help with the event.

In some countries, some school leavers choose to work or travel for a year between finishing secondary school and attending university.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?