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Band 4

some people think that medical service should not be run by profit making campanies . Do the disadvantages of private health care outweigh its advantages

#people #service #profit #campanies #health #care
It is
ususally
Correct your spelling
usually
 argued that healthcare facilities should be governed by non-profitable
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 and not by
companies
 who are in
this
 department to earn money.I acknowledge that it has a wide range of
beneifts
Correct your spelling
benefits
 and
also
 has some drawbacks but in my opinion advantages of
such
system
Correct article usage
a system
show examples
 outweigh
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
disadvantages it is
further
 discussed below. Almost everywhere in the world medical supplies
such
 as vaccines,medicines,surgical instruments etc. Are sold by A private company and not by any
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 organization.
This
 is the right approach because healthcare is
such
 an industry where being
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 date and ahead of time is really important. One prime example of
this
 was
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
.
While
Correct word choice
Government
show examples
government
 organizations in the
front-end
Correct your spelling
front end
show examples
 were working with
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public to control the spread of the virus by Analyzing the situation and making laws or regulations like enforcing
nation wide
Correct your spelling
nationwide
show examples
lockdown
Fix the agreement mistake
lockdowns
show examples
,urging people to
where
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
 masks and maintaining social distancing. Governments around the globe
also
 had their hands full
while
 treating the patients who were already diagnosed with the corona.
On the other hand
companies
Add a comma
,
show examples
Private
companies
 on the
back-end
Correct your spelling
back end
show examples
 started working on the vaccines.
Hence
 with the combined effort of
government
as well as
 private organizations we were. able to win
battle
Add an article
the battle
a battle
show examples
 against covid.If
this
 was not the case
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
healthcare would
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been under a
government regulated
Add a hyphen
government-regulated
show examples
 body.We might had to wait many years for the vaccination drive and the
resaearch
Correct your spelling
research
 work was so prompt only because it was funded by a private company.
Although
 these
companies
 work independently,Governments of every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 keeps a regular check on products or facilities provided by
such
companies
. medicines ought to pass some standard tests before
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be available to
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public.Any Medical facilities like ventilators or Dylasis machines before being deployed in the hospitals go through a series of strict examinations and have to pass a high benchmark in order to qualify.Prices at which medicines are sold in chemist shops
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 usually set
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 governments only
that
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 optimal price which is not
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 expensive for
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public and
also
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 a good enough
marginto
Correct your spelling
margin to
 the manufacturer.
Such
 Tests and regulations are mandatory.A balance and harmony need to be maintained in
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 of
such
companies
 and
government
 departments to
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
popultaion
Correct your spelling
population
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 We should allow private
companies
 to run medical services
while
 keeping
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 eye on
products
Correct article usage
the products
show examples
 or
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 they provide so they do not exploit
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
while
 making a profit which
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
 them
as well as
 the general public.
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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