Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better educational system?

#education #systems #students #focus #subjects #age #study #range #school #system

Currently, education system issues have never failed to provoke debates. While some people advocate the fact that learners should concentrate on certain

subjects

at the age of 15, others make a statement that they should only learn a wide range of

subjects

until they leave school. While the former is valid to some extent, I consider myself

Change preposition

apply

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an advocate of the latter.

For those

Change preposition

Those

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who go for the former statement, claim that the young can access a broader understanding and perspective of knowledge that they may need in their future. Having chances to attend full-subject classes can provide them with a solid foundation that relates to various fields in lìfe, which will be a great help for students in the future.

For example

, learners in Vietnam have to learn with a digitally-oriented curriculum

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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so they are capable of justifying physical phenomena, carrying out scientific experiments. Due to these redeeming features, a school system with a wide array of academic disciplines can help youngsters to widen their range of knowledge.

However

although

this

statement is widely acknowledged, students who learn only a few specific

subjects

can save more time for other pursuits. Having fewer lessons to study can help the young to save their energy and pursue their chosen subject, which can help them to set

the

Correct article usage

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firm foundation in their upcoming career orientation .

For example

, a student who is fond of physical education and wants to become a professional athlete needs to focus on practising.

Hence

, In conclusion,

although

concentrating on distinctive

subjects

is the fundamental principle of teaching in some educational systems, it can act as a precursor to some extent, I contend that the system that only

require

Change the verb form

requires

show examples

learners to study a wide range of

subjects

until they leave school can

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

more advantageous opportunities for them in the future.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Mon Nov 22 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better educational system?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufacturerd food and drink products contain high level of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugar product should be made more expensive people to consume less sugar, Do you agree or disagree

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

"Write a letter to your neighbour to ask him/her to take care of your house while you are away for a week on holiday. Please say •Explain where you are going and why. • What do you need him/her to do? • What should he/she do in case of emergency?"

In advertising nowadays, businesses usually highlight and emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why do businesses practice this? Do you think this development is a positive practice or a negative one?

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?