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Band 4

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?”

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
A child is often careful when it takes the
first
 steps. But once the baby learns to walk without any support, it stops
to worry
Change the verb form
worrying
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 about the hardships that it took earlier.
Similarly
, a seasoned criminal would think twice before committing his
first
crime
 and the possible impacts of his actions. But when he serves the punishment for the
first
 time and is out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail after that, he thinks that he is not going to be killed, for doing the same act again.
This
 is where he grows in confidence.
This
 is
purely
Replace the adverb
pure
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 because of human psychology. A human is mostly afraid of
death
. It can be a
death
 by accident, natural
death
 or a
death
 penalty. Most of the countries in the world are against giving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
capital punishment for even the most serious acts of
crime
. They respect the right to live of a serial offender on humanitarian grounds and criminals take undue advantage of that. In a country where I come from, we hang people till
death
, only in
rarest
Correct article usage
the rarest
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 of rare cases. The
last
 time when
death
Add an article
the death
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 penalty was given was
few
Change the article
a few
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 years ago where four people had
gangraped
Correct your spelling
gang-raped
 a girl in the most brutal manner.
Otherwise
, all the people proved guilty are serving life imprisonment. To make sure that the culprits are afraid of even the simplest of punishments, the hardships in jail need to be more. One must fear even the thought of going behind bars.
Severity
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The severity
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 of punishment should
also
 take into consideration the number of
occassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
 the
crime
 has taken place. There should be no bails granted once the person has been proven guilty. To conclude, I would say, it is important to have fear of law in commoners but at the same time it is
eqally
Correct your spelling
equally
 necessary to do the
councelling
Correct your spelling
counselling
 of all the inmates so that they take the better route to life once they are out of the jail, never to cross paths with
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
.
Submitted by omkar.mhaskar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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