Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

#people #guarantee #job #course #university #education #work #school #gain #world

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It is argued that in order to have a good occupation one

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to finish

a university studies

Correct the article-noun agreement

a university study

university studies

show examples

, while

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

would argue that one should start working after completing

school

Use synonyms

education to achieve

work

Use synonyms

experience

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

working after

compelting

Correct your spelling

completing

university studies leads to a well

statustory

Correct your spelling

statutory

job for a young adult,

however

Linking Words

, I strongly agree that one should start working after finishing

school

Use synonyms

to gain

work

Use synonyms

experience

Use synonyms

that develops self-esteem in an individual. Some say that working after completing higher education offer

standerised

Correct your spelling

standardised

standardized

jobs to people. To say

this

Linking Words

, having a higher qualification means that a

person

Use synonyms

is fully skilled and holds the knowledge of his role in the field of his studies.

As a result

Linking Words

, offering

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

salary package

alongwith

Correct your spelling

along with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

good position

making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

person

Use synonyms

different from the crowd.

For example

Linking Words

, higher occupations like doctors and scientists are the jobs that are only possible after completing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

higher degrees in universities.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that it is a long time period and children should start working as soon as they finish their schooling to get assertive in their performance that can impact positively on their career. Children after graduating their schooling should start working that will enhance their

experience

Use synonyms

making them more confident in their

work

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in future. To say that, working for

long

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a long

show examples

time makes a

person

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more skilled in the particular

work

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boosting up his confidence to

answere

Correct your spelling

answer

any question linked to his

work

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Therefore

Linking Words

enhancing more job

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

for a

person

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in the same field. For example,

recent

Add an article

a recent

show examples

survey done in 2019 reveals that people who have started working in the early years of life are

more smart

Replace the words

smarter

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that working after

school

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provide

exorbitant

Correct article usage

an exorbitant

show examples

experience

Use synonyms

to an individual and

devlops

Correct your spelling

develops

develop

his confidence to a great extent. In Conclusion, while

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

degree

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

an individual to find a good job, I believe that

experience

Use synonyms

gained through working after completing

school

Use synonyms

is far more important as it builds up the confidence of an individual.

Submitted by kajalsaini454 on Tue Nov 23 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

theoretical knowledge
critical thinking skills
specialized expertise
on-the-job training
work experience
financial independence
career growth
hands-on experience
balanced perspective
internships
part-time work
academic learning
vocational training
apprenticeships
personal circumstances
financial constraints
career goals
individual aptitudes
well-paying careers
satisfying careers
specialized training

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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Fully explain your ideas

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars

Many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Sometimes, tourists may damage tourist sites. Explain what some of the negative effects may be. Suggest some solutions to this problem