IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

|Advantages And Disadvantages Of Taking A Year Off Between High School And University

#|advantages #year #school #university
Requirement
Correct article usage
The requirement
show examples
 of
time
 intervals between tertiary education and high school have both advantages and disadvantages.Here some cons and pros are explained in my essay.
Firstly
, the
time
 gap gains the child to acquire knowledge
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is related to
further
 studies especially those who are furious about their future.
for instance
,some students are really passionate to become a doctor or an engineer and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 able to crack those particular exams due to various reasons .So for
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
 it is an opportunity to reach their particular goals by providing
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extra
time
 to
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 more clearly.Some may require just a period of
time
change
Fix the infinitive
to change
show examples
 something impossible to possible.
Secondly
, getting
break
Add an article
a break
show examples
 is an essential part to boost our mental and physical health.
For example
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spending more
time
 with family and attending
Add an article
a gathering
show examples
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
 with friends are helps teenagers to overcome their stress.
However
, there are some disadvantages too,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a crucial period of
time
 .So everyone is competing with each other to gain a better place.
for instance
, unemployment
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 increasing day by day just because of students who pass out every year high in number.
Although
,
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 with high marks
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 not valuable as experience.So children taking
brakes
Correct your spelling
breaks
show examples
 could be held back.In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 some cons are there still we need to appreciate those who are willing to take some breaks ,just to take care of themselves.
Submitted by resmivpr09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: