Some people say that it is necessary to give importance to your career, while others say that it is better to spend time with your family and friends. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #importance #career #time #friends

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While some people believe that the importance of

career

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progression in a person's

life

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more than spending time with family, others are the opinion that people should spend more time with their loved ones. I,

however

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, support the latter view because family and friends provide a variety of sorts of support when we face any difficulties. On the one hand, if we focus more on our

career

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, we are more likely to boost our

career

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prospects and succeed in our professional

life

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which will bring out several positives for ourselves and our

Correct your spelling

loved ones

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loved-ones

Correct your spelling

loved ones

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Firstly

Linking Words

, a successful

career

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offers

Correct article usage

apply

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self-satisfaction along with the fulfilment of basic needs. To illustrate more, if someone earns enough money, he/she can buy daily needs and can lead a smart

life

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Secondly

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, having a bad

career

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causes low income which affects your relationship with the family.

For instance

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, a person having a bad income significantly affects his relationship with his wife and the outcome is not desirable.

On the other hand

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, spending time with family and friends is more important as it provides a good and compatible social environment and forms a good relationship for every individual. Thereby, people will be able to share their thoughts and deep feelings with their loved ones. To illustrate more, a young man having a bad day at work comes home and having a good conversation with his family cures his pain.

As a result

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, it provides stamina and changes his mood and makes him happy.

Lastly

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, the family should be given the maximum importance as they are every individual's backbone and supports him when someone faces any difficulties. To conclude, both money and relations have their own unique importance in one’s

life

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and one cannot succeed in

life

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without support, love and affection.

Submitted by Sayeed Sajeeb on Wed Nov 24 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

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You and your friend have both been accepted to a study abroad programme in Paris France

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone.