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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socilise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socilise #face #development
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In the age of the internet, more and more
people
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 using social media and social networking applications to communicate
instead
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 of socializing in person.
Although
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 I believe that
this
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 is a positive development for the
individuals
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 , I think it has negative impacts on societies. With regards to
individuals
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, the result of more online
communication
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 is positive for
people
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 with mutual interests gather together through online platforms from all over the world, while in the past
people
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 rarely had the chance to meet someone from outside of their community and immediate circle.
Secondly
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,
individuals
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 who spend more time on online
communication
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 spend less time and energy in relation to the
face
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 to
face
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 meetings.
People
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 do not have to travel to meet their friends and family members, so they have more chances to communicate with each other.
On the other hand
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, the impact of
this
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 development on societies and local communities can be seen as negative. When more
people
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 prefer social networking,
face
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 to
face
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communication
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Add a missing verb
is reduce
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reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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 in the local communities.
Consequently
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, there would be fewer close and supportive relationships in the community.
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Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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people
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instead
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 of fulfilling their social need for their relatives
face
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 to
face
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 choosing some person rarely had the chance to meet one day which makes society  more disjointed. In conclusion,
although
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 in the modern world online
communication
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instead
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 of  in-person  socializing is  beneficial for
individuals
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, there are some drawbacks for society.
Submitted by cena.m.89 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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