Nowadays, more people are choosing to socilise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socilise #face #development

In the age of the internet, more and more

people

using social media and social networking applications to communicate

instead

of socializing in person.

Although

I believe that

this

is a positive development for the

individuals

, I think it has negative impacts on societies. With regards to

individuals

, the result of more online

communication

is positive for

people

Firstly

people

with mutual interests gather together through online platforms from all over the world, while in the past

people

rarely had the chance to meet someone from outside of their community and immediate circle.

Secondly

individuals

who spend more time on online

communication

spend less time and energy in relation to the

face

meetings.

People

do not have to travel to meet their friends and family members, so they have more chances to communicate with each other.

On the other hand

, the impact of

this

development on societies and local communities can be seen as negative. When more

people

prefer social networking,

face

communication

Add a missing verb

is reduce

show examples

reduce

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

in the local communities.

Consequently

, there would be fewer close and supportive relationships in the community.

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

people

instead

of fulfilling their social need for their relatives

face

choosing some person rarely had the chance to meet one day which makes society more disjointed. In conclusion,

although

in the modern world online

communication

instead

of in-person socializing is beneficial for

individuals

, there are some drawbacks for society.

Submitted by cena.m.89 on Wed Nov 24 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more people are choosing to socilise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

The governments should give each citizen a basic income so that they have enough money to live on, even if they are unemployed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.