IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that children learn better when they are placed in classes with children of similar academic abilities. Others believe that children learn better when they are in classes with children representing a diverse range of academic abilities. Discuss both these views and give you opinion.

#people #children #classes #abilities #range
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are different opinions on whether if
children
Use synonyms
 should be placed in a
class
Use synonyms
 where their academic abilities are equal or it should be diversified. I would recommend the latter view. Some people think that it is better for
children
Use synonyms
 if they are placed in classes where they have equal academic abilities. In the
class
Use synonyms
, they will learn things at the same pace, so that no one will be left unclear about the subject.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, some people address the importance of diversity in the
class
Use synonyms
. In
academically
Correct article usage
an academically
show examples
 diversified
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
, the
children
Use synonyms
 can see and experience inequality and learn to have empathy towards others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will learn to help weaker ones. On the other side,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 with
weaker
Add an article
the weaker
show examples
 academic
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
 will learn to ask for help, too.
Children
Use synonyms
 are our future. In the future, they will not live in a totally equal society, so they need to learn the diversity when they are at school.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they need to learn to work as a team with different kids.
Thus
Linking Words
, I agree with the latter point. To sum up, on the point of whether if students should be in the classes where the academic backgrounds should be diversified or not, there are a lot of disagreements. I personally believe they should be in a
class
Use synonyms
 where academic abilities are unequal.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can be better prepared in the future.
Submitted by 3ulaah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: