IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In addition to that government should impose some regulations to instruct the companies to use more natural sugar ingredients in their products .

Sugar
Use synonyms
 is being used as the main ingredient in lots of
food
Use synonyms
 and beverages items nowadays. The excessive
use
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in the making of
food
Use synonyms
 items is very high which is affecting peoples well-being all over the world. But I believe increasing the price of those
products
Use synonyms
 is not the solution to the problem why.? In my opinion, we should educate
people
Use synonyms
 about the side effects of these
products
Use synonyms
 on their health rather than imposing regulations on the foodstuff industry for the prices to go up. Doing so would have negative consequences for the
people
Use synonyms
 who are employed in the
food
Use synonyms
 industry
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they would not be able to sell their
products
Use synonyms
 due to being expensive and
hence
Linking Words
 lose lucrative market revenue.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who are associated with
this
Linking Words
 industry would lose their jobs and
this
Linking Words
 would increase unemployment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
companies
Use synonyms
 should try to
use
Use synonyms
 natural
sugar
Use synonyms
 in their
products
Use synonyms
 without any additives or chemicals.
This
Linking Words
 would make their
products
Use synonyms
 healthier to consume. Many
companies
Use synonyms
 adopt
this
Linking Words
 idea nowadays. But
this
Linking Words
 has resulted in the price increase due to the
use
Use synonyms
 of natural
sugar
Use synonyms
. To conclude, I would say that
companies
Use synonyms
 should
use
Use synonyms
 natural
sugar
Use synonyms
 in making
food
Use synonyms
 items and show
people
Use synonyms
 that they care about their health so that
people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 the
products
Use synonyms
 without any health issues. And
also
Linking Words
 government should do some regulations to instruct the
companies
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
 more natural
sugar
Use synonyms
 ingredients in their
products
Use synonyms
 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: