Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods To what extend do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal

#people #country #materials #goods #production

Some people think that the more

countries

produce products the more income they will gain.

Make

Wrong verb form

Making

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

certain electronic equipments or

develop

Wrong verb form

developing

show examples

natural

resources

sometimes become a standard of one

country

achievement.

However

Change the capitalization

show examples

disagree with

this

statement

due to

Correct word choice

because

show examples

there are many factors that have to be considered

besides

to produce

Change the verb form

producing

show examples

as many as possible.

This

essay will discuss that followed by reasons and examples.

Firstly

, human

resources

Change the verb form

are

show examples

one of the main issues that have to be focused especially in developing

countries

For example

, once a state focus

Change preposition

show examples

contains new products hugely, the workforce

is usually took

Change the verb form

is usually taken

show examples

by experts from

foreign

Add an article

a foreign

show examples

country

and the citizens is often jobless. It

is happen

Change the verb form

is happening

show examples

in my

country

, Indonesia, where there are a lot of natural

resources

to handle but the scientists are less common.

Hence

, increasing knowledge-based of citizens

the

Add a missing verb

is the

show examples

main goal to be maintained.

Furthermore

, in

developed

Add an article

the developed

show examples

country

rising up

production

also

not always be the best idea because it

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to deal with

market

Add an article

the market

show examples

demanding

Wrong verb form

demands

show examples

, politics and several internal issues

such

as taxes and people lifestyles.

Secondly

, increasing

production

without any comprehensive plan will often bring unsatisfied results to the

country

For instance

, a state focus on

develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

a certain industries

Correct the article-noun agreement

a certain industry

certain industries

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand, there are several

problems

that

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

facing at that moment

such

as education,

health

Correct article usage

a health

show examples

system and

Correct article usage

an over-crowded

show examples

over-crowded

Correct your spelling

overcrowded

show examples

population in cities. Developing industries needs a lot of money and there are other

problems

deserve

Correct pronoun usage

that deserve

show examples

to be given more attention.

As a result

, neither

production

nor these

problems

can be mitigated sufficiently. To sum up, rising up

production

a certain

Correct the article-noun agreement

certain countries

a certain country

show examples

countries

are not always be appropriate goal consider

Replace the word

too

show examples

many aspects

such

as human

resources

and several internal

problems

faced by states.

Countries

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

show examples

should obtain solutions to overcome

problems

in that particular

countries

Submitted by Vanessanatha on Thu Nov 25 2021

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods To what extend do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

Aircrafts have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetable to some countries where such plants hardly grow or out of season. Some people consider it a good idea but some people oppose it.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantges of this outweight the disadvantages?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.