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Band 3

some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own healthand diet. Others however believe that government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet.

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #healthand #diet #government #citizens
It has always
a
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been a
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concern for people about health and fitness. A healthy diet should be a part of our
lifestyl
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
. Many heads take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 taking care of day-to-day diet by actually paying interest whereas the others blame the authorities to handle. There
are
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is
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 always two
side
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sides
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of
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to
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 a coin. I elaborate
each
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on each
show examples
 of them
further
.
To begin
 with, here I would like to talk about the individuals who takes the
responsibiliti
Correct your spelling
responsibility
. My belives is that people have
their
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the
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 freedom to consume whatever they want to. If we
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
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 food, we should have enough knowledge about each
ingredients
Change to a singular noun
ingredient
show examples
 and its effects. Harsh ingredients,
non edible
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non-edible
show examples
 items adversely affect our metabolism process and organs. We can reduce dependency by being informed of products we use The
next
 argument is that government should take care of the items. Of
course
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,course
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this
 statement is trustable but it is tough for the authorities to take one brand to establish their business in the country. Many
contraacts
Correct your spelling
contracts
 and
agriments
Correct your spelling
agreements
 are being done. It will
harder
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be harder
show examples
 for government to call out each and every brand to ban products or change the formulas.
There
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Their
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 many political connections
exists
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exist
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 as well.
Therefore
, to conclude, we only people have
strength
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the strength
show examples
 and wish to choose the commodities we want to consume. When we will raise our voice,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will take steps
further
.
Submitted by mp960021 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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