IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
Nowadays, technologies are being improved by scientists every year. So, in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 they are going to apply driverless vehicles with having only passengers like
an auto-pilot cars
Correct the article-noun agreement
an auto-pilot car
auto-pilot cars
show examples
. The main idea of
that is
 to remove any kind of transport from roads by reducing their quantities. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of driverless
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
. It will make our world move cleaner from emitting carbon dioxide gases, now it's one of major and
also
 global problems for our planet. Because approximately 90 % of cars use fossil fuel and it's incredible to make all of them electric.
Hence
, reduction of them will give
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 impact to save us from global warming. Another advantage is making
no-risk
Correct pronoun usage
it no-risk
show examples
 for a driving car accident. Self-driving
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 are implemented by Artificial
Intelegence
Correct your spelling
Intelligence
 (AI), so they are
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 for 99 %
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because their every step is estimated precisely. For
drivers
Add a comma
,drivers
show examples
 there are
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 to get distracted
such
 as lack of sleep and energy, looking at smartphones and so on. Turning to the other side of the
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 changes would affect
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people negatively, because it
occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
 unemployment amongst many spheres like taxi, delivery and driving industries. By
them
Add a comma
,them
show examples
meriad
Correct your spelling
myriad
 of workers will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 their financial benefit and it may cause big problem not only for people,
it will
Add the word(s)
but it will also
show examples
 consider
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 economy of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 too. All things considered, driverless
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 will be
crucial
Add an article
the crucial
a crucial
show examples
 solution to alter our
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 for the
next
 stage of development, which provides more convenient conditions for all. So for
me
Add a comma
,me
show examples
andvantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 and I think, that it's
sensible
Add an article
a sensible
show examples
 idea for the future.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: