IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has long been a subject of discussion whether managers solely ought to be making
decisions
Use synonyms
 in the organisation or whether workers should take part in decision-making meetings. In order to see whether the former notion outdoes the latter. We need to look at both sides of the argument
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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then
Linking Words
 I will give my opinion
that
Change preposition
on
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 why employees should be involved in the decision-making
process
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. On one side of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
argument
Add a comma
argument,
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 there are some individuals who argue that the administrators of the companies should make
decisions
Use synonyms
 by themselves because they have first-hand knowledge of profits and sales.
People
Use synonyms
 believe that because managers are directly related to the majority of
information
Correct article usage
the information
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 they need in order to make
decisions
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can take optimal steps to make a good decision.
For example
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, a
dominos
Fix the agreement mistake
Domino's
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 manager knows which time
during
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of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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year is busy so that he can decide when to increase staff.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 believe that the involvement of workers in the decision-making
process
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 will
augment
Verb problem
increase
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 the
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
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to choose
Change preposition
of choosing
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 the right option.
People
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 often have
this
Linking Words
 opinion because when staff members are involved in the conversation, it is likely
supervisors
Correct word choice
that supervisors
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 have more opinions and views.
As a result
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, the chances
to make
Change preposition
of making
show examples
 the right decision will be increased.
For example
Linking Words
, when more
people
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 are involved in the decision-making
process
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, there are more than one
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
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 that will be easy to choose.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the involvement of employees boosts their morale
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can help a company to earn their loyalty. In conclusion,
organizers
Use the right word
organisers
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 have access to information in order to make better
decisions
Use synonyms
, but the participation of workers in the decision-making
process
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 will enhance the chance
to make
Change preposition
of making
show examples
 a good decision and will earn their loyalty too. In my opinion, staff members should take part in
this
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear map: first a short intro, then a para for each side, then a final para with your view.
grammar/style
Use simple, calm sentences. Short lines help you keep ideas clear and easy to read.
content/exemplification
Give one or two clear examples for the view you support. Avoid long routes of ideas that may confuse.
language
Double check spelling and names, like Domino’s, and use common word forms.
content
You show both sides of the issue and give your own view.
structure
There is a clear pattern with intro, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • top-down approach
  • hierarchical structure
  • grassroots level
  • strategic planning
  • on-the-ground experience
  • inclusive management
  • employee engagement
  • democratic process
  • transparency
  • cohesion
  • morale
  • practical insights
  • long-term goals
  • mutual respect
  • resistance to change
  • team dynamics
  • broader perspective
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