IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are those who believe that increasing jail sentences
subsequently
Linking Words
 decrease the crime level.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rest of them suggest we can find
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 most appropriate solution. While prisons have undoubted advantages, of which criminals are isolated, they have significant drawbacks, most notably appalling conditions and relapse. Historically, felon isolation was the most reliable method. On the one hand, cages are quite humane regarding other punishments which were constantly practised in the middle ages. It allows people to take a
second
Linking Words
 attempt in their lives.
Also
Linking Words
, prisoners allowed to work and earn money
subsequently
Linking Words
 develop the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, men could be manufacturing workers and produce metal goods in turn, women could be dressmakers. Despite the advantages, the majority of prisons are incredibly old. Dirty and unacceptable jails could contain an enormous number of people.
Such
Linking Words
 a dreadful environment could cause substantial harm and provide phycological depression.
Additionally
Linking Words
, ‘dog-eat-dog’ relationships between their pear group could be so tense that could possibly cause conflicts.
For example
Linking Words
, arguing about beds or food. A
further
Linking Words
 disadvantage is
recidivism
Change the article
a recidivism
show examples
, as we marked before, prison is a psychological pressure on a daily basis. That means, people are adapting to the cruel environment and in the future after their inevitable release can’t live in a normal society.
As a result
Linking Words
, a broken mind will try to find a way to his comfort zone
consequently
Linking Words
next
Linking Words
 crime will appear. In conclusion, while prisons are advantageous for society, it has some important disadvantages,
in particular
Linking Words
 broken fates and relapse. If countries can invest in the development of the prison system,
then
Linking Words
 some of these problems can be lessened.
Submitted by karpovpmi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: